at times i think of commiting suicide, the recurring theme of my life

really pissed
it's been days of exhaustion
i tried to snatch a runaway by constantly embedding myself in word challenge
there i score higher and higher
still cannot see my stress and my fuss go lower and lower lo

swearwords still got hold in my tongue
though they are already popping out like fireworks in my empty black head
so
i make swears instead
"i swear i won't become a teacher"

aiya...when will 2008 get over lei...../__\

well, maybe blogspot spots better than word challenge
where is my fire exit?

at times i dream about my future
is it really possible that i will have an easy life
not much pressure from work
self-sufficient
okay financial circumstances
loving and caring husband
who can afford the whole family and everything on his own XD
so that i can do whatever i like
travel, write, read, paint, compose, invent, play, sleep, eat and feed,
and, explore, ponder and pursue?
still reserve the rights to cry "halt and rest" and "resume" whenever i want XD

well, that's too idealistic la...

aiya... how come i live at times of progression, not stagnation or regression gar....

when the HS index regress and progress XD

aiya... how come i am a Hong Konger not an Eskimo gar.....
convince myself an Eskimo has Eskimian problems la
so actually you dont really have to be envious lo...

feeling cold...

(exhale...) dung ngo jo paper sin (morethanlessthan = >< & TunderscoreT = T_T)

today's the day i put you away

today's the day i put you away
from last night my failure to trigger
to this evening's my treddling pace
i know well that there's no more

it can be sad, cause it's being a failure
it can be glad, for it's also a success
i make today my aloha
i hop i shout i have a recess

receding from the torment
despite its gradual disappearance
unnoticeably put on a layer of ointment
decrease, reduce, i have my preference

hurray, i cry in tears
dear god, my thank with glee

how literature murders

sundered cord
am now a dwarf in a giant world
at loss
in the dark wood of mustard
how great the trees are!

i thought i was on the climb
from root to stem
on bark to branch
it was terribly a tiny thin weak twig i kept hold of myself
aching my back i fell badly on the brown earth

i thought i was on the progress
from nil to muse
on rocket to launch
it was the detached fuel chamber i was in
less than half way through the great journey i was bashed
drop on the mongolian plain, painfully lashed

wild-eyed at literary
what an illiterate

Curiosity Cure

Either you kill or cure your curiosity
terribly i am terribly involved in the click and link game
direct and divert your thoughts
explore and expand your wit
enlarge and embrace your imagination, engrossly
gross grass people refer to stuff stuffed in walnut shells
sheer raindrops i see what collected in barrels like jewels
springtly dews dripping drip by drip, slide from tips
slip and slide and laid below the tree you found me

under the shadow i dig the treasure of deepest curiosity

perhaps too distinctive the darkness of the shade
scary scar on fleshy heart of a little maid
jade i see the tiny heart of thou
evade the shade, keep a distance away

計算童年

由於不懂得史豐收速算法的英文名字
就決定用中文寫好了
反正英文寫太多沒甚好處 哈

應該很少人知道我有上過史豐收先生的班
那是我在上小學時的日子
忘了當時要多久上一課也忘了共學了多久
只記得自己應該成績挺不錯
老師送給測驗成績優的學生的莫生氣杯子仍完好在家
沒有白濛濛鋪上薄塵

成績好不等於學有所成的道理就是在那時悟了
因為所有題目我都是不誠實地用心算算的
沒有用上老師所教的速算法
其實自己認為心算已經很速夠速了
而且那個要屈接尾指的方法很困難 說得上是有點不人道
練極練不成
最好就是放棄
小時常又認為大人總是在用計算機
不明不白卻要求小孩要背乘數表
實委不公 是欺負
更反叛決意不要好好太認真學
千萬理由
今天腦袋裡的兒時補習碎片
就有補習老師文太太手控計算機在要求我筆算小數分數加減乘除的算式
嗯 不知她此時此刻在忙些甚麼？