mind transforming style

what does a younger sister hate most?
putting on old clothes of her elder sister.

being deprived of the joy to shop in the crowded mall,
to squeeze the tiny and short figure within the tall adults in fancy outfits,
to choose one out of hundreds,
to occupy the fitting room while tens are waiting and groaming at the door,
to be complimented in whatever it is put on,
to witness mama inspecting the gown to be put on my body,
to watch papa pulling out cash at the checkout counter

now a new adult
oder an old juvenile
reversed, transformed, washed and bleached mind i have installed
how i like and appreciate and idolize
dig her good
rinse from toe
the whole is a bravo plus a wow
pull over from head every piece of her clothes
mimick i do not call it so
adding another type of style
excuse my conspiracy

general sorting: either ! or ?

if there are two types
and the two types are the only types
the simplest and easiest classification of people into group ! and group ?

not quite an extremist
but i see over 90 percent are in group !
the exclaiming group
the happy and easy-going and worldly (it's not derogative) group
suits perfectly and knows how to enjoy life
laugh and eat and have fun
bearing every quality the ? group envy
yet incapable of acquiring
buoyant and usually live in present as a present.
arha
carefree and adorably lovable figures

the remaining ten is comparatively pathetic
the question mark group
questioning and kind of self-tormenting
quite self-conscious and world-conscious
too conscious indeed that cannot live too well
physically inactive though still run round the clock,
well, i mean their brains
always in turmoil
too chaotic
thus forgetful

wise and unwise

well
label yourself

hypocrite

feel like a hypocrite
or is it just the illusion out of the very-normal-faces-&-people-usually-owns-several?
what i say and what i do are hundred and ten percent not in accordance

smell like a hypocrite
look at and compare your new old old old face and i want to puke
to me to him your friend and whoever
mind your mindset your value your moral
cant help

it's a lie to claim being in the "cant help" state
and i still say i cant help fantasizing the vaguest scene
what a hypocrite
the disgustful and unreasonable union ever imagine
to be beyond my imagination
i was right
incompatible and mismatch

you fool
and i'm the fool to be fooled
better to say i choose and i deserve all this
too and how pathetic

as if i'm exceptionally purely idiotic
victimizelf

at times when i got toxicated by keith urban and whoever evoking and enticing
"Oh baby you're too cute you're too cute for this wicked world" - The Posies "Love Comes"


*just now one of my aunts called.
she is a mum raising two infantile autistic boys
hard and difficult
much too hard much too difficult
i'm still too young to tell what bitter is
too little to write on

furtively; surreptitiously; covertly; stealthily; slinkingly

I love eating in wherever eating and drinking are not allowed
yayaya
i am the sneaky naughty child

with the sign "no eating and drinking" hanged
the burger and coke shadow crossed

i ate a whole set of the beefy rice on my way back home

i kept slipping my hand into the bag in which chewy and icy cherries are hidden
nimbly i kept inserting the sweet fruit with bitter skin into the orifice

Stain my lips and front teeth as pink as purple as possible
as if i got poisoned
or as a child who tried to put on mama's lipstick

the gentleman on my left keep peeping
eye on the baby just in front
eye on the two noisy girls on my right
eyes on me and my handful of tissue which wraps the cherry seeds

yayaya
i am eating bunches of cherries
go tell the driver XD