desert my black room

without the slightest leak of light
blinding intrusion
you feel the abyss quaking from inside out
you tremble
the shadow is shaken to vanishment
like dust
like the slightest particles from nowhere
all but vanity
dead silence
in which you feel being most alive

cause tis the only occasion you are yourself
that you possess your soul
tis the moment of the night you can disregard the world
the people in this world
the images
the animation
the motion
the pretentions

and this is life
but it doesnt seem like life
cause it happens too rare

split sec and you are forced to open up
slits cut bloodily forced open
it doesnt bleed but you feel the pain
throbbing
heart beats far too fast you feel like overreacting
people overreact
you sweat
you thought you even peed
leakage of pungency
of irritancy
and self honesty

your self is sliced
shattered visage lies
half sunken
sneer of cold command

do you live?
do you dare to travel alone on this antique land?

More than an illustration

Points of articulation

Come to life on a brass spring

Such a wonderful plaything

tuesdays in search of morrie

tuesday
where is my morrie

there he stands
he was just 2 metres away
but i thought i would have to go the other way
now we are further apart
are there 10 metres between us?
i am losing the concept of distance
losing track the notion of time
i cannot see your face anyway
but a figure
blurred and unsteady
through my fluid crystal eyes

but he still looks at me
i believe

there he is
if not 10 metres away
he is 10 metres underneath
in the deepest darkest room of my heart
my left ventricles
he experiences earthquake in sync with my heartbeat
the soft bumps of liveliness are thunder strikes to him
can you withstand it any longer?
you hear me in your heart even if you are physically deafened
deafness and depth and death
are the three concepts we yet to master
spiritually there
i wish

his voice ascend to my left atrium and is transmitted along the bloody tunnels
his voice proceeds
tubes after tubes spreading into networks of capillaries
gets weakened and softened as it dispersed
i hear it no longer
at a loss i see you nowhere
i believe you are still tearing your voice
but i hear it not
see it not
we are too distant

hey morrie
are you still there?

Tod

Ich möchte ,,Der Tod in Venedig" lesen, das Woody vorgeschlagen hat. Ja, er liest alle über Tod. Sämtlich.

Also, Thomas Mann...über dem Krieg. Jetzt lese die Erdbeben im Haiti.

the problem of gosh

Ineffable is thee who writes and hesitates, pauses and withdraws
Inevitable is evita who is blessed and doomed, helplessly predestined
pluralists are the feeble theorists who finds no conclusion thus make a conclusion out of hollowness
mystical experience you yearn i loathe
spirits of illusions and hallucinations coke effervescent
orange
sugarfree
if not by inches sugarcoated
deceptive incentives
dogmatic mundane beings
blue blooded aliens
false alliance
an impossible conclusion of wholeness

am i losing my body or my halo?

its a plot

so it was the friend asking me to be in a relatinoship with him on facebook.
and
there is actually nothing going on in between the two of us

i thought i was helping him to deter someone
but then...
i dont really know what is going on

probably he is playing matchmaker
which i hate

and now im in an awkward situation
why would i agree to that...

stupid things.

i would not post it on facebook when i am really dating someone.
and
i would have told my dear friends during the brewing period
no surprises for me haha

Ich habe keine Lust.
Ich habe keine Geduld.
Ich habe keine Zeit für dich.
Geh aus meinem Weg.
Flitscherl.
Du bist wertlos.
Ich höffe, dass du aus meinem Blickfeld andauernd verschwinden.