Hinter die Fassade

ich erfasse nicht die Gesichte der Menschen,
die auf der Straße ohne Ziel wandern.
(oder vielleicht haben sie Ziel, das aber im Bezug auf Leben keine Wichtigkeit und Bedeutung meint)
es scheint, dass einige von ihnen glücklich sind,
aber ich bin unsicher.
warum lachten sie, wenn die Luft sehr schlimm ist und wir immer die Natur zerstören, wenn sie ganz viele sinnlosen Pflichten ausführen mussen und nicht an sinnvolle und gesunde Beschäftigungen teilnehmen, wenn sie nur in Hong Kong eingesperrt werden und nie die größen Welt erforschen können. Und Hong Kong ist keine gute Stadt.
ich frage mich, was im Leben ihnen Glück bringt.
ich suche nach der Gründe, die aber nie existiert haben.
ich bin deprimiert.

aus Verachtung gucke ich diese Leute, die ihre Leben gar nicht verstanden haben.
´´Sie sind alle arm,, sagte ich mir.
ich fühle, dass Erdenleben keine Freiheit habt.
wir leben im Nichts, mit keinem Licht, Kein Luft, Keinem Klang, überall keine Symbol des Lebens. Leben am Erde ist ähnlich wie Leben in Hölle, oder nicht: es ist schlechter. Im Leben warten wir nur auf Tod, der auch unsere Freisetzung von Traurigkeit und Ignoranz heißt.

ihre Geistesart ist total deformiert. Sie denken nicht richtig. Sie fühlen nicht richtig. jeder hat Gehirnwäsche durchgeführt worden. Wir haben unsere Bewusstsein verlosen. Wir nehmen nicht das Gefühl wichtig, sondern nur die greifbaren Sachen. es ist ihnen egal. Wie sollte ich das befassen?

nostalgia is nothing sad

it was mine
and mine alone
when i recalled the golden moments to my then peers
they do not identify with it
but suggest otherwise of our common history
which i dont quite recall
they had a whole different perspective
looks like they have a whole different history
it is not collective
it is personal
and still as valid and legit and precious
golden

i missed the pre.dictations
i missed learning english from the disc: oops sorry
i missed recording our laughters on the tape
i missed prisoning myself between the gate and the wooden door
i missed skipping ropes on campus, and mr. fox what is the time, and freezing the chicken leg
i missed jumping up and down and staircase for our exercise books
i missed trying so hard to get ms. mans attention
i missed selling and buying on the bed
i missed pretending to be sick and not go to mrs. man
i missed being hit when i failed to tell the next prime number
i missed the blue boxset of brother grimm stories
i missed queuing in line for injection and weeping out of fear
i missed being the big sister of the school bus kids

i like every single bits of my past ages
yes every single piece of them

but they look so different when you retell them
we have different focuses
and different remains
different remains make different we as we are today

looks like i cannot live with people from my past
but just people in my present life
whom i feel like being one of them the living community
alive and lively and flowing and vigourous

so why get sad when people come and go
why get uneasy knowing that past friends are irretrivable
this is life
and let it be

people change
you evolve
losing people is nothing sad because you still get to live with the precious present with your present friends in you present body pleasantly with a modern mentality
positive attitude
recognising reality
it is normal
it is factual and gradual and subliming

permeability and mobility

why isnt our skin permeable to water?
i wanted to swell
when in water i bathe
when water could flow in and i expand

in shower i feel the current and the warmth
drops or beams they hit and
there goes the da di da melody
soothing and dramatic like notes on the score

why dont they melt into the neglectable
merging of two fluids
i thought i was rather fluidy
very elastic

°°°

i figure this is quite a rinse. thorough enough :D hi pals!

°°°

live huge dream tiny

i said i wanted to live an exceptional life
do something extraordinary
to feel extreme

like i said i wanted to be a revolutionist
a huge actor

i said it could be in a negative way
(only because i see too dim a chance for me to play it up)
i said i would rather live a painful and devastating but abnormal life than
a boring and plain, stagnant life
the latter would wear me out
the former would kill me

or i could be just a thinker
or pathetically a dreamer

David Beckham's Hidden Camera Fun!

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24 makes a cage in which we dwell

there are (amazingly) just friends you FEEL endeared to
whom you dont meet too often
whom you dont think of often
whom you forget
but you cannot help spluttering at them
every time you meet
once in a year or twice in a decade
about this
and that
things that you do not think you will ever talk about
the missing rib bone