the plight of the walker

you know something goes astray when you spend too much time interpreting the conversation, the interaction
they are nothing for interpretation anyways cause your head gets so messed up you can hardly recall the bits
order becomes un-order
memory becomes too selective and overtly biased
and then pops up the imaginary images constituting fake memories
you can't tell if they are from your dreams or desires or if they are real

i don't even know what i want
do i want the strange adventure in the maze or the comfortable park just for a leisure walk
why do i have to choose do i get to decide anyways?
maybe i do but i do not want to and again it's the plight of the privileged
getting to choose is only for those who enjoy the right to

but why do i talk maze when we are walking in the park
does it count as talking maze tho
what's there to talk about if we don't talk about the maze if the maze seems like the destination we are heading towards?
do the bushes in the park bore us out?

and i hit my forehead in the mirror maze too many times maybe i could just relive the pain walking in the park

but history repeats itself

who moved my self discipline

SO MUCH TO READ SO SO MUCH TO READ GOSH
so much to learn so much to learn

so much that i want to learn and so easily tired and distracted and lazy and wanna procrastinate
i guess i needa threaten myself

- what would this make you in five, ten years?

go stuff yourself i needa stuff myself hard and brutal ROAR!

jesus maybe i shouldn't start a new series after grey's
...

some best of the leipzig experience happened today

insanely drenched inside out in positive energy
and
maybe it's a good thing that i left early tho i sorta regretted it now :/
tho i guess if i got too happy and excited and hyper i would have a riskier time biking home

things are always the best hung in mid air
like
you left a good impression then you can go
you don't wanna overboil the milk
 - right, let's stick with this :)

like last semester i was complaining how it had been different from the DC experience so turns out it isn't any worse
great people geniuses warm hearted charmers
the gang is still here just
you needed time to swim through adaptation and breaking the ice and feeling at ease
or
have i progressed in socializing?

and i see best friends here

rare has been this type of person who clicks the first time you meet
 - well to be precise not the first time but let's say the first week, or few weeks
isn't it how things happen
or it's not really clicking but people take interest in you and you let it
or i take interest in people (but never do much about it and later regret how i possibly miss out on awesome wonders)
so there's a new friend like this
maybe or maybe not 'risking' something mama would dread
or maybe i have a barricade inside of me too im not sure im fear to face my unjustifiable 'issue'
unjustifiable but understandable but unforgivable problem like
ta is the first person from the the place you are so utterly unfamiliar with even though ta is seemingly pretty much westernized and mainstreamed - ta might as well just be a 'european' - yea let's put it this way

phew it has been a sky-diving week and on today, thursday, i attempted landing.

days with my bike and days with the awesun

things that put a smile on the face
- ta and you got the bike together, and you hung out at alcapulco, and you had dinner at spizz
- talked to cath and obviously she could be a missed gemstone
- new sg girl gosh she is like from where you're from, and she lives right across the hallway where your friend used to live hahahahahaha crazy
- wonderful bonding happened with anne and nic, and possibly jon and huse and oma
- biker community lol well lose
- and you spoke for the group in the silly colloquium like a native
- most importantly, you crashed two seminars you hadnt registered for seemingly would continue with them (?) (!), in addition to classes you are already in which you are enjoying (right)
- go get it scholarships and work opps don't stooop
- mag and i talked!

just chur it hard so you get to later brag about it aha aha

and the mist obscuring the view is growing thin