introspection elucidates - 就謹記有多愛

how much i love?
THIS MUCH i love:

"[...] im still more happy than not going through this. i think i want * badly enough so am even getting a bit masochist going through all this pain in the course of getting * lol if this makes any sense" (convo with Lou, Nov 18, 2015)

i guess it does (LOL)

不輕易忘記．不輕言放棄．共勉之．

same same realization when i put the top sheet together. it's nice - unexpectedly nice and emancipatory almost. his EMANCIPATORY and my INSPIRATIONAL

afterall, there is this something that's crystal clear
- are there more crystals to dig and rub?

zufrieden :)

religions as politics as economics

不明所以 - 這一次的感受最強烈
當然興幸自己不是漠不關心 - 是最起碼的要求吧

雖自命為自由主義者（因此支持表達自由、宗教自由等)
但茅盾地，我有無神論的取向
加上對各宗教（特別是伊斯蘭十教）的知識貧乏，感覺未能充分理解ISIS以至更多方面對恐怖襲擊的非主流看法，未能理順事件的來龍去脈
我只好在不住追看更新消息（彷彿在等一個不會出現的、公布恐怖主義已死的announcement），又努力讀一下各方的分析和advocacy
- 依然不敢為自己定下立場，很戰兢：我知恐怖主義很恐怖啊，但我想知不同組織不同分支的由來，with nuance

看了整天眼都矇了- 但除了這樣，我還能做甚麼？
乏力感 overbearing

由於早前買了票所以晚上進場看了關於明朝綿衣衛的《繍春刀》
先不說其為女死為女亡（令我反了多次白眼）的情節（雖然導演以至部分評家認為電影走寫實路線，但為女死為女亡不就是有點不夠寫實或偏激嗎？）
觀後再搜尋了解一下綿衣衛是甚麼
噢原來是 stasi + csi + g4 + 地下組織，不過加上 imperial
- 很有趣，但更殘暴

以往（以至到今時今日）的黨派之爭（劇中觸及明朝實存的魏忠賢閹黨）究竟有無意識型態的backing?
如果其實係economically-driven，是否類近 clash of clans？咁咁極度money-driven？

那穆斯林的經濟歷史為何？"Fundamentalist"的呢？ISIS的呢？
網上應該資料多到瀉吧...讓我搜一下...

世界亂得很

I amuse therefore I am: had i not the plate i have, i would

do a crash course of the dash above the e and the silent h - how many times have i said i would now
- and probably give up after two days - ha!
well isn't it more fun to be in the cinematique and write some shit than to be confused by the spelling of words and to prank my glottis
instruments not buccal but at the Salmons
- so is the jubilance in the cozy chambers

i guess the galloping images (cinnamon and vanilla hola!) with ambiguous endings and lots of nudity could keep me hooked
why not a heavy dose of those with bilingual subtitles
i will just memorize a phrase or two to impress Avaro and Goatee
and Lou would give me the same old line from Lady Marmalade (LOL)
- random fun fact: Avar-icious means excessively greedy - my new GRE diction

Be greedy and gluttonous, for bizarre, splendid experiences
// Stay hungry, stay foolish