sentimentality

i thought i was rational
i thought i kept holding back my emotion
lest it flooded and made me as dumb
as insensible
as impossible
as implausible
as common
as inefficient
as stupid

was cold
was steel
was ice
was iceberg yet to be drilled

it bled

but i was wrong
i was like holding up just this fake label
trying to steer myself

and i was not quite so

i was sentimental

just suffered from days of low mood
and sadness from nowhere
was like haunted
by a mysterious force i found strange
found stray

perhaps it just came home

the return
the exhausting reunion

the perspiring spirit
sweated and roared

i died each time and i thought i resurrected
but i was still the old me

and i was sentimental
surpassing all others

low tide comes and goes
regardless
it's natural.