today i needed a treat but i didnt know what would bring satisfaction
first attempt
food
i tried a waffle from yamazaki
trying to retrieve the joy and the freedom i had in brussel
failed
i knew before i bite it that it wouldnt taste too authentic nor even just nice
but i thought it would trigger my happy motor
but it failed
second food attempt
frozen yogurt at holly cow
pretty good as a matter of fact
and the big portion surprised me
quite creamy and milky too
though i wanted something more solid and sour
the yogurt type of sour
bacterially sour
anyway
it failed cheering me up
didnt quite know where the low came from
school work and stress?
i reasoned it to my having not yet adapted to the HK mode of study
things are getting pretty intense
three english courses, 1 lit 1 sort of soci 1 personal but with too many questionnaires to fill in...awwwww
and two courses on journalism which are superb eyeopeners
now i truly know i love journalism and politics and newspapers
and one course by funny au yeung on cantonese
thought i would be fun well a little perhaps for newcomers
but i felt like im repeating my freshman year taking his course
cant quite stand him anymore
should i drop it?
then add another or just have five courses?
well
frankly not quite intense nor too harsh
but comparatively it is compared to what i had in DC
what an exchange student would focus on
not really academics but truly
new experiences
anyway should stop reminiscing
was on my way to tutor baby
didnt want to cause was stressing out a bit and was really tired
brain only on tsang chung wing and politics YAY journalism!
and thinking if i should take do course add drop
work harder or be chiller
ay i know i shouldnt be like this cause i am far too lucky
already
but what can help
wanted to be in touch as well
perhaps friends would help
just needed someone to talk to
when i have an early off from class so i have 1 extra hour not having real tasks
when i have strong lows from nowhere perhaps knowing your high resolves all
when i wanted to nag a little and say things like ay i cant see the baby today shade!
and i texted a friend
she gave no response
alright i know friends are usually busier than i am
never mind i had a book with me
good heavens i had a book
finally went shopped a little
it helped diverting my attention from my
mood
and myself
to physicality and appearances
materiality at least satisfies a little
superficiality
temporarily it helps
so all i needed was just a diversion
and time out
from pondering upon unsolvable actually solving-unnecessary issues
stupidly enough
yay i gave myself a treat!
oh bonus treats: i got two chinese books to read!
looking forth to tomorrow evening a real time out from reality...
dialogue in the darrrk
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