orwell

done with animal farm
the fairy tale the allegorical truth
hm
less dark than 198X
which is an illustration closer to reality
i still remember how my heart throbbed when i read that unspeakable

but it hurts tremendously
to imagine animals being like
humans

not essentially evil but
selfish
truly selfish
which is a form a evilness?

oh
dont i know from the beginning that humans are animals too?


it also makes me think about the
fancy
monarchs that still exist
they lose their glamour to me

and
governing bodies?

hm
order
organisation
essential

what are democracy and equality?
ideals too ideal
to be realised

tensely strained

°have not an answer to
whether people who do the organising need more
for brain power
high wage to breed honesty and incorruption?
why are we innately selfish and corrupted
do all people misbehave and fool if education and civilisation never exist?
and i have always disliked
civilisation
when it means ripping off nature. sort of.
when it means human civilisation. but not a civilisation for all
creatures and non creatures

a teacher from my f.3 chin history class once said
humans are born evil: xun zi
we cry from day one
need to be tamed
in ruthless ways
through exploitation and learn manipulation
original sin. fulness? -> alright getting a bit far now

from its wikipedia page it says
napoleon is the USSR stalin
snow ball trotsky plus lenin
squealer molotov
frederick adolf hitler

it hurts further

...
i wish i were a tree. a cypress or a pine.

harlequin a roma

i thought i knew what it is
how it feels
-what troubles and
Pleasure
it brings

and thats why i am
so
hesitant
ün? s_Ü r? e
in spite of the
Want

the uncertain Wish

insecured and
f
f
o

k
o
o
t




or
not
quite a wish
(how could
a wish be un_ certain?)

but there is the
_curiosity
coming back
:
just being
nAs
t
y
& p
layfu
l

wants a plaything
& b
a plaything

_pathetically


Or not
?

but some
comfortandsupport

reason
not sound
it does not clink

because
Love
still swim
m
m
ms to you
when
there aint players

°°°
like attracts like
we are strongheads and opinionated.

Was ich glaube:
Männer sind Tiere.

Nach dem, was ich frage und suche:
Die Bedeutung des Lebens.

i sense therefore i am

authors i read reveal who i am
six i have in mind right at the moment

george orwell (now on animal farm the fairy tale)
franz kafka (so so perverse)
james joyce (cant find ulysses yet)
ezra pound (my wet black bough and my virginal)
e m foster (maurice!)
e e cummings (aleaffallsloneliness)

visual arts i look at reveal who i am
six i have in mind right at the moment

edgar degas (ballet statue)
gustav klimt (ahahahahaha Kuss und Frauen)
j w m turner (i need his peace)
jackson pollock (splashes)
paul cezanne (the card players)
van gogh (his ear)

yet for expansion

Time on Mark Elliot

Richard Stengel:
"All social media involve a mixture of narcissism and voyeurism. Most of us display a combination of the two, which is why social media are flourishing faster and penetrating deeper than any other social development in memory. Social media play into the parts of human character that don't change, even while changing the nature of what once seemed immutable."

LOL two of my fav words: narcissism and voyeurism. so true. so dangerous.
isnt it just public display of. BLAH?
why do we like it? why is it wrong?

***
Lev Grossmam:
"He approaches conversation as a way of exchanging data as rapidly and efficiently as possible, rather than as a recreational activity undertaken for its own sake. He is formidably quick and talks rapidly and precisely, and if he has no data to transmit, he abruptly falls silent. ("I usually don't like things that are too much about me" was how he began out first interview.) He cannot be relied on to throw the ball back or give you encouraging facial cues. His default expression is a direct and slightly wideeyed stare that makes you wonder if you've got a spider on your forehead."

spider on my nose tip. scarily exciting.
conversation as data transmission. true, but too sad to be explicated.
ball throw: or i had been in a situation when i was constantly thrown at. which is actually not too bad when i have no ´data´ to input. enjoy getting info lol.

"One of the interests Zuckerberg lists on his Facebook page is "Eliminating Desire." "I just want to focus on what we're doing," Zuckerberg says. "When I put it in my profile, that's what I focused on. I think it's probably Buddhist? To me it's just -- I don't know, I think it would be very easy to get distracted and get caught up in short-term things or material things that don't matter. The phrase is actually 'Eliminating desire for all that doesn't really matter.'""

eliminating desire huh...at his age? thought it is a journey starts after 47?

***
It's a Mark different from that in the movie.
and I like the real one
if the Times is not a propagandaic megazine aha.

and nice view on the reality and virtuality. (<- and as a perceptionist i have something to add to that...hmmm...)

so the internet is not necessarily a virtual (sort of artificially constructed and unreal?) but isnt world itself a construction too. arbitrary organisation and orders? why are humans sorted by sex not earlobe presence (that will be so so funny lol)? and theres the bordering of countries (why are there countries after all. artificial governance...) so that is civilisation, a word seems at all positive. why do we act so civilised? why is eating with cutlery not hands civilised?

and nice view on the internet being a community different from all.

"No single computer runs the network. No one is in charge. It's a paradise of equality and anonymity, an electronic commune."

***
want to get my christmas reading
is Ulysses too ambitious of me? hmmmmm.......

ping
pong
tick
tock

artificial construction
a to
and
fro


the art of communication
and aesthetics of interaction

push
and pull

when you speak i zip and listen
hmmm

but i aint sure if when to speak when the ball never comes to my bat
its always coming oder?

shall i build a fence

i shall build a fence
to shield my soul
to seal my heart

there hasn't been barging in
but friendly visits
but i felt insecure to be exposed
there is the emotion twitch
a spasm of my cardios

so now i declare a gradual shutting down
of senses and sensations
nothing too sensational
i am not a paper to be sold
neither a paper boss to sell

--- this uncertain oath of fairness and integrity

jiang yu

somehow bureaucracy is better than real unjust
well at best comes in real democracy and liberty
i wonder how she is in person
i wonder if she believes in what she says
is she convinced
by the unlawful law of the land?

she worked for Xinhua in HK
and at the States
could she tell the difference
and do true or false
right or wrong?

or is she being a sad practical person?
submission to her limited environment
heartbreaking priority of life

lets not say power and money
but just life and prospects of work
something tangible and graspable
hmmm
still its scary
haunts like a phantom

a mannequin
a puppet
or she the performer

a magician?
an actress

or a humble person

i cannot see her through

Drehscheibe Deutschland berichtet

:(

Wetten, dass? wie fear factor?

Aber noch glaube ich, dass der Unfall die Verantwortung des Unterhalters sondern nicht des Programm ist. Oder hat er eine Versicherung? Schnelle Genesung!

Der Mut der Deutschen.

its not leaking. its revelation.

the wikileak ban reminds me of the info screening and history forging depicted in 1984
everything a propaganda
perception be reality

in 1971 hugo black wrote

in the first amendment the founding fathers gave the free press the protection it must have to fulfill its essential role in our democracy. the press was to serve the governed, not the governors. the government's power to censor the press was abolished so that the press would remain forever free to censure the government. the press was press was protected so that it could bare the secrets of government and inform the people. only a free and unrestrained press can effectively expose deception in government [...] the word 'security' is a broad, vague generality whose contours should not be invoked to abrogate the fundamental law embodied in the first amendment
--new york times co. v. united states, 403 u.s. 713, 714 (1971)

but deep throat at risk

best
brittle hearts at desperation

more than wishing

you said not the cliche
but you realised it
you let the spell swirl in my mind
pour glitters on me so i shine
you angel have made me an angel

noticed it or not
i just needed the slightest chat and laugh
and no one but you made it with me

conscious or not
i care not
i am of the uttermost thankfulness for it
for your being

you made my day happy
an heartfelt thank you

no exaggeration im happy for your being
push or not im happy even at this distance
and im happy about the distance

though i wonder with feverish awaiting eyes
fearfully
but im happy about this distance

im happy about this distance
and your more than wishing

thank you

all of a sudden i want to celebrate lol
gosh im being such an emotional female who flips all the time
or maybe i could be a cool male who flip just once in a while to bring excitement
good reasoning :P

yes i want to celebrate i want a walk a talk a joke a laugh

i want a present best a digital piano
greedy me i know it would come true
but
what about you draw music for me?
please say yes please love

or you write a riddle
or a poem
or a story
about a piano
something you do not usually do

or a CD of an original record of music
it would satisfy my greed

you play your favourite tune
or write a joycely tune
or you draw or sketch

no i dont want a photography
yes i want your strokes
i want the pen in your hand
gripped by the fingers
stained by sweat

though i do not really like your smell

hell i am being nasty and demanding lol

no please do not send me the birthday sms
i want a bit more than that

being a bitch for this week, and this week alone.

jesus counting down to december 14

the Social Network

AWESOMELY REAL

A MUST MUST MUST SEE!!!

whether Zuckerberg has been fairly portrayed, its fun to know the intricacy behind the founding of facebook.

but anyway the cast matches the people in real life sooo well.
google image and you will know
scarily real.

and wikipedia their backgroud...
i can only say thats its not a makeup script.
its from reality?
Mark, dislike me please lol

and Justin Timberlake looks real cool and cocky enough.

AMERICAN COLLEGES
yes there is the unbeatable prestige of Harvard.