Minus less than one

Doesnt feel like its time
Im gonna miss this bed so badly so badly so badly the girl next room and the dragon that gets fed on patience so badly
What will become of the chi gung lady who will receive her peaches and what will become of mr at peace will he remain at ease these beautiful little heads within four walls
Fishes whom I met and furnis on which I sat

But its indeed time and
Who said everything is just made and fixed and grows when thrusted upon

Things yet done are things I chose to miss doing
Never mind and its consequences of my actions I oughtta bear
What is necessity

Where to put my mind

touched and moved

that number four colleague of mine wrote me a farewell card jesus oh my god that extra mile people no longer bother going he made that extra effort to let me know his thoughts its gemstone its priceless ie its like people writing the leaver the ditcher the thank you note its been reversed if u know what im saying oh dear

true thoughts truely valued we missed a good long talk the unfulfilled intercourse we now can anticipate in timeless awe contemplate and beautify it in our tiny little brains fantasy

we are helpless romantics and so i replied him too took two hours last night writing him back pouring from my low vertex to let him know that he is too a rock star and im a fan stedfast hahhahahhah absolutely loved it pulled me into thinking if my pr life should last a little longer or maybe life of partnership coworksmanship with if this arena brews wise men in gold harlequim like him had i ended it too soon too abrupt oh dear i love my favourite colleague exes phew

its been constructive and positive and no regrets as i usually say about my past experieneces smirk in pride and prejudice

seriously all the bestest and i ll stay eager to know what you people will turn into ballons or kites soaring

...

another story caught up with a sonny of mine today back from germany oh my god jesus he got enriched much or had it started before he went there by his bigger world experience now hes back he had great stories to tell like back then i had so much for people to consider boasting and bragging although some big name was it oscar wilde taught me it aint no crime telling true stories and great minds enjoy widening stories so never mind lets show it off and expand one and other hard and violent anyway he told me about his courses on drawing room drama and his plan to look into melancholy in keats or first world war on keats or something he told me about wilfred owen these names i needa jot down so i can too look them up oh my gaga

and somehow this evening after love of life told my old bags probably yesterday about my silly fears and uncertainty or something my lady olf bag and me embarked on a rare convo on studying unpractical then onto topics of world systems nationalism and oddly love and cultures jeez she cant quite take intrasexual and interracial that tiny little heart of hers hahahha but its kinda cute to hear indeed very interesting

aw i had a sorta a something day its kinda satisfying naya

violent liberating sensory

(staccato)

don't think just

leap

without planning

embark

(airy and soft, crescendo)

inhale

hard and strong

(pause)

(wavy, circular and perpetual)

the grassy weedy scent

marijuana

(apex and loud)

get high shroomy

colory and magically

give up sanity and consciousness

swirling dizzy squirrely

(frown)

skip regularity

miss the beat

(glee)

go with the pulses

ride the crests

hit the waves

(violent)

a slap in the face

some punches on the bum

smash and hit and tear and break

everything frantic

50 fractures

(lieve)

hush

hush hush

stop fretting and be wide and free

for the record - i aint no motor biking fan

不過身邊的朋友都在使用那個似乎很方便的車輛

那就便了

歸家也快很多　不過

其實可以在家附近解決食慾的需要嗎?

我不是烈火戰車的那類人

也許在坐過之前有曾經覺得會很好玩

風馳電際的被太多人說成浪漫

噢對嗎我的wife也說過想學　而她是是的心目中style的代表

其實我真的真的最愛走路走路走路走路走路走路走路走路走路一直走下去

累了坐一下再走

不過　坐電單車可以逼使人腰板直一下下

而且　經驗還是有的比沒的好

我想不通

命懸一線的那種刺激的極端的呢？

哈　應該是plan不了反正

spontaneity rules

let it be whatever life brings me i undertake with glee

gosh im so awesome

其實我想在草地上滾

在山上大叫

抱一下粗大的樹幹

嗅一下撲鼻的花香

摸摸動物

擁抱一下人類

*我在公司寫最後, 還是第二最後, 的供稿...

crystal sound of thunder roaring

before midnight is a sad story
i knew it
i knew it before i watched it
i knew it right after i finished the first, before sunrise, that the couple is doomed
because only youth is good, and youth doesn't last

aging growing maturing becoming constrained
they have to attend to woes of the world that only keep adding piling up
external impossible setting

no way out
just utter clueless

bygone is romance
bygone is idealization

what's good of compromising and depreciation
depression

deterioration

rain cleanses i love the crystal sound of thunder roaring

Long distance love

I have this wife whom I do all small talk with. She is the big talk type of person too but sometimes people just talk low for the ease of it. Living inside the surface the minimal parts.

We were saying maybe after I go we will have less to talk cause we will be in two places two settings two worlds, and each of us will have our new groups of friends you know the people come and go and move on kinda view of life. People, helplessly, do drift, apart.

We are so like a couple we were talking like we are in the face of maintaining a long distance relationship HAHHAHAHAHAHAHA taking it so seriously I guess it just shows how much we care about us. i do see us being an item lol people who know us both know, even my other friends do too I keep bragging about my wife its amazing to get best friends post school :')

Phew

I love you wife

Forced

What be it that something a moment of thought makes you think you are not good enough for the good of the world you are not on par and you cant be just average and mediocre or even worse

Suicidal

But isn't the accepting the broader love and passionate about diversity enjoying of the versatility the most ideal that you can fit into a diversity of scenarios you are friends of philosophers and also the gang of the streeties the best

But how do we exchange with the outside how are adaptive not change of the utter self its immeasurable

Or is there some hard edged core within or

How different are people I wanna be deeply influenced by very different people its like im a dough they are bake moulds and or we are all muds too much mixing makes us all greyey dully earthy dust

What makes me if I dont social what becomes of me if I just intercourse with the nature and do signals twinkle if I only talk to myself or is it neuro neurotic

Where are some other people who talk like this and can put this in a real conversation so i'd know these ade not just mine but shared confusion convulsion of thoughts

Where are these people what are they doing everyone is an island of its own holy crap I get it now

The world in solo

Do people go crazy if they cant talk will I create my dialogue with myself if I get confined in a single space is so schzophrenia how is this an illness isnt it a cure to people issues

Even a monologue and a futile quest can go this far when do thoughts run out how will questions be addressed endless troubled mind of free spirit its never going away if you let it indulge and let the train of thoughts run on its circular rail

Day Minus 26

grand return
so incredibly excited about SCHOOL and im gonna blog more about what's been happening in my tiny little brain yeeeee-ha!

the viewership has been like a good electrocardiography, meaning
im very stable and healthy, no arrhythmia

so into grey's anatomy it's a great great drama
doctors
doctors are admirable
and it gets me knowing that dark people are good too
people who overthink are good too
makes me know that overthinking people are good too
encourages me to think more rather than less
we oughta let it wander as it feels like to

who is it actually
hahah good friend
don't let me know if feels good in the not knowing so i can concentrate on typing
and guess about the possibility of grandiose
some understanding identifying nodding nodding
this is the good good place to be

ta-da
i needa talk bit about my day
which
i called in sick and had quality time with my parents
its one of the few that i feel happy connecting with them
im eager to know more about what they think and how they feel and if they are happy and if they are healthy
it feels good to have them as my port, and feels great to get them think you are the one they can talk anything to
i asked them about what stuff they learnt new and i looked at what they receive from their other circles
we should expand each other and create infinity
yes infinity even with family
this is awesome

how to make happiness last
will we use up the quota
will we ever get bored with being happy
is there some other good state of mind than happy
i want a more diverse array of feelings and sentiments and
it cant be finite can it