think the right things

don't think
because thinking leads to pain

remember the so many times you just get pretty depressed lying in bed thinking
thinking about random things
things you make up in your head
or sporadic things in life the unconnected dots

and
you try to connect them even though you know it's wrongly done
so there are never concrete lines drawn
but dashes

and
dashes are for emphasis, to interrupt or to indicate abrupt change of thought
http://www.grammarbook.com/punctuation/dashes.asp
what of you is that?
what of you deserves dashes?
nothing really or is there
all but something you make up to _
to earn sympathy
for show
to look rough and smart and
whimsical

be harsh
to others and to yourself
i thought i might have become cold enough to be indestructible
quite indestructible
i might have kept my walls not skyscrapers' high, but i burnt the bricks before laying, thickened them with soil and concrete; and planted thorns around them

but there is a new wise old happy man
went through the more grim things the merrier
aging is scary but he makes aging seems like gold
maybe silver starting from the hair

maybe it's not about not thinking - but distraction
put your attention where it deserves it
where it will be valued and proven useful

and i used to loathe utilitarianism
thought i was romantic
bleh.

not antonyms