gran

gran has passed away
and it can't be ever more clear that any disagreement among the family members on her treatment was unimportant

in less than 48 hours i am already calm

i am sad that i won't get to see her again in her warm body, but
i still hold that it was liberation for her

it may sound terrible, but of the family members, she is the second i hold most dear to
first being my sister
ranking is weird i know but i do that sometimes

i wonder what my mum and the maid are feeling, as my gran's primary caregivers, how big their sense of loss or sadness
because mine was so painfully immense during the first hours
when the sense of loss has been so strong to me, how is it for them who feed her and care for her all day all time?

cherish the living now i learn

despite everything i do not see eye to eye about with my mum, i ought to not just be loving towards, but also show lovingness to her

right or wrong, or rationality, or sensibility, and a lot of things, are never the most important -
but feelings and love?