the onion i read somewhere
it did but these days it does not explain my emotions
i must be a bit shattered
overwhelmed
burnt out
i still do things that i have to do
but i have close to zero excess capacity to entertain what's beyond the required
no, i can't or i can't help but refuse to get mentally or emotionally tangled in friend's problems
no, i can't have any stake in anyone else's living
i can only do me
and no one else
not right now
loneliness?
am not sure
i think i do well residing in good books and emotionally stable friends
also
work, as anthony said, the force of stability
it's steady it's good
it's oddly a shelter but it is
wow i didn't imagine life to be life this (when i was a kid)
so it could get so much
emotional and
enervating and
us so helpless
is this me letting myself be or did i have the option to not
i have not figured out what values this represents
me giving in to
me?
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