i cant change my parents

*i am as selfish to demand (or expect?) that ma and pa adopt my perspective, and my values*
said jan

i guess,
but really?
*hasn't their generation reaped the most benefits and has the most resource to rebel*

of course
wealth and materials corrupt
*but is it not their fault that they allow materials to corrupt them*

he said that it makes all the sense that they prefer stability
*because "they have inherited direct experience of trauma of war from their parents"*
direct is a misplaced, misused word

*i doubt they are entitled*
myra asked too if their fear and cowardice and selfishness are justifiable
*hasn't their generation reaped the most benefits and has the most resource to rebel*

i must be too ignorant to not fear violence
*but hasn't it been so far largely peaceful events, of protest and civil disobedience*

why should we prioritize efficiency over justice
right, dennis said east asians are too much about efficiency
*capitalism
productivity
efficiency*

*i guess let's say they are uncapable of not being selfish*
but this is the worst most demeaning remark

i did expect higher of them
and perhaps i should let my hopes down
one doens't disappoint if one doesn't expect

am i being an elitist to give up on them
or am i being an elitist to keep wanting to change them

*

anthony said
it's a matter of judgement, whether oppression or tolerance is a better solution to put out opposition; whether dictatorship or democracy would guarantee a longer lasting governance

jan had said
mittelweg
doawk?

So much oppression, but even more pride. And so much foolishness we have to put behind.

2019 has been the second, and deeper, civil society awakening in Hong Kong in recent years - after the Umbrella Movement.

We, the Hong Kong people, had been living in lies for too long, since the day of the handover in 1997; or even earlier - when the Basic Laws were in the making and we chose to believe that the Joint Declaration or "One Country, Two Systems" would be upheld, for at least a good 50 years.

"One Country, Two Systems" is this lie that the local Hong Kong Government and the Central Beijing government have been telling - one that should have been easy to debunk; harder to debunk is this same but another lie that we tell to deceive ourselves - to fool ourselves into believing that economic thrive would buy us happiness, maybe even peace.

Guess what - money only buys happiness to this certain limited extent; we need freedom, the freedom from fear. And justice. And democracy. The freedom from fear of being extradited to mainland China for a non-transparent and unjust ruling, something we have witnessed time and over in the past seven decades. Therefore, 2019 with the threat of the extradition amendment is certainly time for us to come to the realization that lies and self-lies do no good but harm, so are myopia in making socio-economic-political decisions (hark, HK government!)

Of course it has been immensely sad to see the local government, backed by Beijing, being so oppressive and behaving like a dictator, coupled with the police force using so much violence against peaceful protestors, to attempt passing the extradition amendment bill. They are choosing this time, despite its being so close to the 30th anniversary of the Tiannanmen massacre, because this is the time the pro-Beijing camp has the majority vote in LegCo. And the way they push for the bill has been by despicably deploying one tactic of procedural injustice after another - disqualifying pan-democratic camp legislative councillor, calling off the bill committee, and using horrendous violence against peaceful protestors. They are shamelessly bulldozing established institutions based on which Hong Kong's (so-called) "success" is built. There is no doubt that they themselves would suffer from the amendment which pertains to HK surrendering its residual autonomy to dictatorial China with a shady judiciary system.

But all they are doing is inciting the most beautiful civil society awakening since after the Umbrella Movement - and we take so much pride in this. Having learnt from five years ago, this time people have smarter brains to refrain from being divisive among ourselves. Impressively, ingenious division of labour is organically happening - a community on drafting petitions and soliciting support from overseas government; another braving risk of police brutality and keeping encircling the LegCo to ensure LegCo comprises of majority pro-Beijing members does not get to pass the bill in a sneaky manner; not to mention the incredible self-discipline the protestors displays. The unity we show inspires more people to join force, which is further snowballing. There is not a single directing party this time around and the majority if not everyone so far displays incredible judgement of how to stay united and be constructively involved. We care about this topic so much that each of us, individually, are taking charge of our own action and lead this ingenious protest. Such individually organized collective action evidences HKer's quality that should earn us the freedom we deserve. Next thing to contemplate is to make sure that oligarchy will not displace democracy if it ever arrives.

2019 is about 22 years into the 50. Tick tock, the ticking bomb. But there may still be time to turn things around because history never stops surprising us (but most of the time disappointing). And we the Hong Kong people are clearly proving that we have the intellect and stamina to turn things around, hopefully with support from our righteous friends - from abroad, from within the local government, and from mainland China.

We are in pain, but we persevere and we are hopeful.

Written on 12-13 Jun 2019, the day on which the local police used tear gas and guns on protestors.

i need to try to become more radical from now on

don't sell myself to unnecessary stupid convenience
such as patronizing chain businesses
being not green
contributing to the economy of dictatorship
etcetera

the protest against the extradition bill

smelling like the umbrella movement that i did not get to take part
and the umbrella movement failed
but something achieved success in the past
possibly not by the size of the protest but
something else
such as last min change of mind by some parliamentarians
anti article 23
anti national education
anti political reform

let's stay hopeful
or at least let's not give up just yet

*

times like this make you feel guilty
if you don't keep refreshing and read stage physical and informational fatigue
to the sight blurred and head spin extent
crazy shit

why are the fucking ignorant villains inflicting this upon us
passing the bill does no good to any one
seriously

in the fucking name of fucking justice
are you fucking kidding me

it does not even do good to the powerful and the rich

completely uncalled for