blanket as the witness/ bear the victim

from night zero to night seventeen the bear hug and drag
from the sofa the table and even she on her bed
across the acre field to reach and push the door without the latch
latch key invisibly secretly hang in mid-air
serve to stir the mood the air ignite heat and warm
from heel end to shoulder two third and later three forth the cool marchmallow blanket swam up
swam through and embraces
squeezes and i shivers
so satisfied gurrrrrrrrrrrr

blanket did not slip and move
sneakily trying to stir up my excitabiliy to titilate the inner impulse
what a potential threat the risk a criminal he undertakes the infernal affairs
the million worms stemmed from my hands crawl and get lost and reach lost and found
the dunkle cave in which the spirit the 20 murmurs in low voice at all times
to infect people the ever proliferating epidemic
the epic the classic the cliche story off your tooth indeed on the deed signed with blood

yayup so its until the intrusion and erosion that the drag and hug and kiss stops
comes to a halt ever embedded in hail in hell for there comes the mirage of another kisser
the forever kisser or the wizard i call him who teaches my blanket the seduction skills
from then on the blanket seduces happily ever after

so there the story ends
the bean under the mattress (to highlight the bear's fragility)
together with the spirit inside the cave
the maggots ever reproducing crawling on the icy fleshy peachy land
together with the marshmallow blanket or soil and sand to make up the cemetery scene

schnapps effect on christmas eve

schnapps eat schnapps
shot after shot
non stop guruguru flushed and swirl
swirling like typoon if not tsunami (if not katrina)
schmerza ache pull off vomit
worse still dizziness intrusion
sparkle intruders flush over
"pestilence-strickening" if pestilence it can be known as
stricken and sticken and striking and striving
sticking you and striving me
to take advantage of me me pushing your naughty arm away from me
strive to preserve my integrity
christmas eve a happy eve
not meant to be lonely neither meant to be dizzy
to release people always want it to be
a special unordinary day but too extraordinary it goes wrong
the faulty deadrection leading to repentance and confession the next morning
digging a hole on the mattress oder the odour the cigar burning ignited
my anger and frustration
witness the dashing waiter the bartender
victim the chic chick



santa claus is coming to town
reces-sion is coming to town
hola!

counts counts counts

i really know that i am so blessed!!!
with a more than perfect family
at least not really on the brink next to a cliff
with a loving mum
an adorable dad
a connected sis
plus
a grand grandmum
we counts not coins but blessings
we get angry not because we are sullen surly but we care to raise our voices
i own and owe friends
who read my blog
who write about me on theirs
who spare time from their busy hectic life to meet
to share to converse
to show without shyness their glee and trouble
to hear me being unorganised and at times ruffled
i possess proudly though too proudly perhaps
an individual running mind which pursuits and is still thankfully hungry
not really in the practical school with a promised high-pay job but
somewhere i love i am surprised and inspired
fate is it i aint sure but a bless it surely is
thanks
to whoever lives with and within me

being spontaneous. spontaneity rules!!

how long have i been not using the little painter...hahaha

so funny... =]

Christmas association

no longer too happy
or have i simply lost the child's heart
to have fun, enjoy, appreciate
nonono
the fest is no longer festive and smiley
trees stand on not on earthy ground but marble concrete reflective mall floor
trees no longer woody painted even not earthy green but purple and golden
trees no longer yuley piney, plastic smelly, as fake as possibly
squirrels not found around, cones distasted abandoned
when people live too well in ungreenly greenhouse separated isolated alienated from greens and browns

Comes and goes, festive useless products no one actually needs and treasures
Odes or hymns, not to Christ but carolling for Santa and Satan indeed
Materials packaging wastage anything not expected but belongs to XXmas a must
Mitigation you say i say everybody says and none dare to step out and step out the sweary action
Easy to say even easier to spend to consume to take a portion of other species
Remember recall reminisce the time when was real fest and fest not necessarily an excuse to spend
Communication or pray we become preys we fail we drop we lose everything except choco coins
Imitate children i wanna immitate them when i think $10 is a real big buck
Alienation we become aliens and deserve not to live on the affluence planet earth
Liabla its our liability to bear and witness to become victims responsible for our irresponsibility
I weep and i cry i damn i curse the walking vampires on earth being so indifferent to ourselves
Zombias if not vampires and werewolves we have zero affection towards our spring
Affection the abstract idea we lose and cannot grab it drops and burns in the eternal fire in hell
Tiffany people pursue sparkle and luxury to excite to comfort the hollowness within why not
If i am a cornucopian i am i would have or am i now indeed i have no rights and am being ridiculous to text
Oh shit i do not know the damnation and predestination of me of people i suspect i am damned too
Note and note not whatever i writes i curse i swear the swear words

intangible lotus

rhizomes threads and seeds
more significant that veils the pink image above water surface
handwrites voice and smell
we say more eliciting than the real and concrete fleshy face bony body
he would have insisted its bony
and the other ribby
and muscular or musculine
i see the vainness and feminity
its subtle everybody knows
its difficult even they shall show

the fantasy and the romanticiation
together with the idolisation i have told
maybe i have not told but experienced
actually
ha the former one worths better
and now i have unveiled to feel better
they share the name
they share the timidity
they share the affection
they have unreasonably had
ridicules me
beats me

guess if its an advanced or degraded version
the hiding friends as the mere acquaintances that do not really
bother
or linger
even after the verbal and all customs expected to have baptise you
never mind the doctrine says
you have free will and autonomy according to Mr. Deity

in dedication to a hangman friend

Evil Eye (MOD)

i want to have a baby ar...
whoever man with good gene
regardless of age...
15-year is only a gap, not yet an abyss

today on the mini van
a super cute girl keep playing with me
not really play
but repeatedly she let out her pointer to ET phone me
sooooo cute
whenever our eyes meet we phone
haha
super cute
connected

let me put on the mother hood in red
i aint a wolf

today i hairdress my granny

chip chap chap
the electronic chip rusted and she takes a rest
chip chop chap
i cut i care i do not just chop the tail of a cat
kitty kitty hello cat
i miss your cuteness you smartness and smarties
sweetness still lingers i still savour
you used to bowl cap my head and blow up my hair
chap no i aint chap
without a chap at home i do the chip chap
your chap's gone i know you miss him you do the recap
i listen to your recap and capture the time you shared
construct and make up
perhaps some is residue some are creative memories
without the cap i am able to cap your mindset
make the perfect head you afterwards says yes
while i confess

workaholic freak joyce on joyce

maybe i am a real freak
haha
recalling last night (or the night before) when my sis learnt that i have 4 papers in addition to 3 exams
she said something like it was really a hugh burden and i was really sun-fu
haha
yupyupyup
kind of agree kind of not
well i also tell people that i have lots of work and am super busy
but at times i play i relax
and
more unbelivably importantly
i enjoy working
for what i work on is terribly inspiring and propelling

i am the surgeon who cut and dissect
think and create
really admire him who devised the bridge for a fatique heart
or the balloon method to widen the vessel, restore the reduced elasticity
now i feel like doing something similar
i am the surgeon and i am the vessel
pass through me the elixir
nurture and nourish me and i will foreverly greedily absorb and be spongy
make me elastic i crave for elasticity
if i can acquire only a portion of your talent i am willing to be fed and drunk
be an infinite indefinite alcoholic freak i say i do

currently i am working on Joyce
he's a genius
compact short text
world famous
he has the mind and brain and heart to make every single diction carrying underneath meaning wows me
eveline, frank, ernest, henry
bird, frank, earnest, homeruler
liberation, honest, serious, identity
that's real impressive
wow

muse and amuse
i am inside a maze ever in search of the exit never existed
yet the panorama the scene have sucked me through to the new mystic world that i am unwilling to get out of

life muse: mystic versus hectic: spend some time to bother or to ponder

it's really getting weirder and weirder
i've already forgotten how far have/had my christ faith receded
but recently my door has been again and again knocked
my bell repeatedly rang
people's asking
friends' occational talked of
strangers' carolling
classmate's hymn
is that your plan?
my life, my fire, my devil, my challenge, my rescue

i have a life kind of far from your doctrine
of which i now see perfectly fine and right and modern and just right
is that a sin i speak of as if they are proper reasons or you see as excuses
is it a sin i interrogate and i doubt and i am kind of reluctant
stuck

when mika goes to jerusalem
he meets a jew a muslim
he befriends a taoist or monk
the nun

i do not actually know well the history or development
even if i know i have only learnt one side of the story
only your by not your partners or opponents versions
how can i be assured
how can i be firm
how can i devote if i have not mapped the way you went the way you go
faith you call it as trust without knowing

scientific and religious plot by dan brown
if da vinci or hanks have the determination to investigate

why consider afterlife when our present life is still amused, confused

try not to be cynic

Vogue

http://gemssty.com/2008/11/22/age-10-to-60-through-make-up-photography/

if that's the face of a twenty-year-old