it is complicated

we were talking about meaning of life
pursuits of life
what should we do in our life
what we want to do in our life

life
as the most fortunate creation of perhaps massive amount of atoms collision
conversion of energy
unite of that one particular sperm and that one particular ovum
it is divine

not what we are supposed to do with it
but
what we want our lives to be

do we actually own the authority of how we live our lives?
how much say do we have?

why would we
why should we
we do benefit
as well as be destroyed
by getting educated
the way
the boring way
the monodirectional (whatever the word should be) way
the material already scanned, shieved, picked
why couldnt i choose what i wanted to learn

cause
i wasnt old enough to know what i wanted
i still dont know what i want

pathetic huh

so before we hit the gavel
before we choose our own path
should we follow what the society wants us to do
but
what does the society wants
there are constantly conflicting voices

get education
criticizing the system
bureacracy
rotted candy it is

but before we know what we want
why dont we do what is expected of us?
though during the course fo exploration bz following the rountine usual common path
we could have been irreversibly influenced
homogenised
robotised
or not?

irresolvable conflict it is
we want to get the ability to live our own life
in our own whimsical way however
and this is achieved by living the way they want us to
cause however we want to live our way
we live in their society

where is my world?

ultimate paradox