i like being loved.

thought im playing too much
is it acting?
i hope not
but precisely being at a loss
like i dont know who i really am
i dont know my character my temperament my likes and dislikes
i dont know if im an optimist or a pessimist
cocky or modest
bold or timid
outgoing or introvert
happy or sad
simple or complicated
(well this i can tell i like everyone else is complicated)
gosh it is getting complicated

like i just said
false or not or unknown or unclear indeed constantly changing developing cause my life hasnt ended but what about so far still unconcluded is it comparative who defines it?
'deep down in my heart im a pessimist'
well...
i always thought i was an optimist
or at least i told myself so
intentionally or not trying to actualise the so called self fulfilling prophecy
but rationally also knows that time is usually the best possible solution
to problems
i suppose problems i have at this stage of my life are minor
being a relativist...
i mean however awful something is done it gets forgotten
after a week or a month, a year or a decade
nothing cant be laughed at with a fooling shrill.
shrug shrug.

hmmmmm i like being hugged
virtually
and audioly