the touch of nature

ava reminds me of the pleasure of touching

yes it was vague but i can remember
how i used to like touching all sorts of things
sensing to be amused

i pulled my nose and sniffed so hard
i pulled my head and looked so close
i had to know how even the smallest particle looked like
i thought my eyes could shoot out laser beams
to disect and analyse
then i could recreate the thing in my skull
you know the info tab against a background of green grids, details on the side
the complex object kept rotaring

trees and petals
rocks and sand
air and earth

the touch of wood and clay
granite and cellulose
memorable stiffness and delicacy
durable and versatile
o this is all natural


since some time i started like hugging
love hugging a tree
like it when its rough bark scratch and rub against my skin
i like it when some hooky seeds cling onto me
hair or garments
i could carry some home

and i would carry seashells home
and glittering pebbles
sand and rust
everything not artificial

was pushing possibly too hard to feel my constitution of this nature

i thought i would love being a tree
stands in a grassland with no end
bathed in sunlight
warmly and cozily alone

i liked plucking
when i hiked with pama and their friends
i plucked
a lot
of green shoots of simple plants
never quite flowers
thought i wanted to stand out from girls
and i like brushing against its loose tips that titter and flows
along with the current of the wind

why can't i fly with the air current?

would not stop ava from playing with dirt