Montag, 22. Juni 2020

letter to my mum issues

ma forewarns you
about things that you don't really do

she really doesn't know how to do better
and it's not great that you have to live under her forewarning

it's she telling you
don't do this
don't do that

now i can tell that's not right
i probably couldn't

so
was i living in a circle she drew on the ground
in order to get "affirmation"

"yes. stay in the circle. you do well"
that's not really "affirmation"
that's solidifying a no
that's solidifying a no

*

it was done in such a subtle way
i didn't see through it until i was 30

*

but let's acknowledge that she didn't and doesn't do well
and forgive her

be confident about seeing it through
know that you have
at and for this moment in time

it's ok to have imperfect parents
it's ok to be imperfect yourself

*

do i tell her that she's been forewarning and it's not right
not right for me?

show, not tell
show, not tell

*
x
don't get hurt so easily
you do know your shit
x
*

no
it's ok to feel hurt
it's ok to be upset
it's ok to be frustrated

but also know that it will pass
and come back again

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