silence in time

我希望
自己可以再心靜多點
思考可以再透徹點

at times i get too hysterical
i am well aware of this
but i cannot find away to be not hysterical, to be not dramatic
i do not find being quiet in front of other people an easy task
i am just still not quite used to this yet
i mean, what if the friend is the talkie type
i mean, how would the friend perceive me if i look numb
i wonder, if the friend would take me as being introvert or boring or dumb or cold and arrogant
i mean
i have not met one single person whom i can sit with comfortably without saying anything
i think you see what i mean
there's always the obscure silence suspending
the unease that reduces our thinking
distracts and diverts to the ugly worldly road
the so-called grand boulevard
the boulevard in a filthy noisy metropolitan
not intend to offence
i mean
the road certainly still has lots to offer
people, glamour, politics
but what i need most is silence and transcendence
if not transcendence, the modest connection to the inner soul

well, of course i act dramatically when i get high at times
i am ecstatic and i look insane

But i love being silent on my own
to hear tick tack of a clock
to hear people hustle
to hear cars speed
to hear wind murmur
to hear beetle sound
to hear bird sing
to hear my own heart throbbing

i look forward to listen to sounds of the world no longer alone
you my soul mate?

我希望
自己可以再心靜多點
思考可以再透徹點

i wish
you are with me in wordless silence.

Der Vorleser

Christ
the movie of all times

Hanna
the innnocent the child
her world which no one has entered or be able to understand her mindset
her stubbornness her pride her self regard
her self esteem
has she or has she not misplaced herself in the world of literacy, the world of intellect
an irony
hers being both a dumb kid a nerd
a noble a self-loved duchess
it's only that she prioritises distinctly

only the thinnest crack the hinge has turned

creaked, deafening, to let out the thinnest light beam of she bright shabby rich chamber

Michael is there to peep

intrigued and tempted

bemused and be puzzled

impressed

moved for a vague and crystal reason

precious

preciously loved

insistence persistence her dignity
even in jail she is to be
treasures however micro chance to acquire it

Ich liebe Hanna Schmitz!!! Hana Schmitz ist am besten!!!
Kate Winslet rocks!!!

within my mental theatre

reading is marijuana
yes it is
it exhaustes you
it gives you visions, abstract or solid
you say hallucinations
thrill and excitement
my dear ecstacy
it's addictive

i thought i loved movies
the vividness and concrete
easy and ready
exploit all imaginaries
i could not read after watch
if im to really read
savour not
my tongue is lost

they are ham they are spam
processed
can never return to be pure healthy pork again
unrenewable memory
visualisation not from my nerves and blood
visualisation the wrong word i say its memorisation
overwhelmed
flooded and drowned

so i further appreciate the wideness the broadness black on white brings
its open-endedness
its spasmic potential and various possiblities
suffocate
dedicate

yes
reading is not an entertainment
it's hard work, it's labour
to make your suffer
you'll become masochistic

Edward Vulgar the robber

Today i've noticed my another perculiar behaviour
it's my habit of watching around. whenever and wherever

just this afternoon i entered the school library and found myself helplessly turning my head left and right
looking at almost every faces around me
i thought i was expecting to see someone important
perhaps my fairy my muse my bobo my bonbon
i could not miss a chance to meet somebody accidentally
yes, accidentally is the word i look for
could not afford to have missed you in the gai

after class we exchanged a silent goodbye
farewell my love
a spiltsecond ignition had only i
each showed implicitly and shyly a glance symbolizing the reluctance to part
painful at heart
at the verge of breaking down
cold mechanical feet
rushing out and stamping hard
fear to be discovered
be unveiled of our mutual spiritual attachment

even during class
i could not get my eyes off you black head black eye while the teacher was bubbling at the front
black pupil back i
am electrified n pretentiously read could only i
i caught your glances
i saw you stealing from me
n i robbed from you
what a robbery

i proclaimed i cried
i thought everyone noticed me the proactive the pragmatic
i could not miss a chance not seeing you
i could not miss a chance occupying one more second of your life
my busy eye
my indulgent naughty eye
ay me my mine
your face your life your speech your eyes is my fatal blackening mine
from which i gather i collect gems and crystals
whatever if glass i treasure the best bits of life

maybe it's right...but m not gonna be confined...do not stereotype me

九型人格分析

第八型	領袖型、能力型、挑戰者、保護者、權威型 15%
第九型	和平型、和平者、和諧型、維持和諧者 15%
第七型	快樂主義型、豐富型、活躍型、創造可能者、享樂型 14%
第三型	成就者、事業型、成就型、實踐型 13%
第一型	完美主義者、完美型、改革者、改進型、秩序大使 11%
第五型	智慧型、觀察者、思想型、理性分析者、思考型 10%
第六型	忠誠型、忠誠型、尋找安全者、謹慎型 8%
第四型	藝術型、浪漫者、自我型、憑感覺者 7%
第二型	助人者、全愛型、助人型、成就他人者、博愛型 7%

我的九型人格分析？

KevJumba n HappySlip

have been working on my Genie story (it's a lovely and worthpublishing homework lol)
so, dont have the energy and time to actually write my blog
anyway (davy's pet phase lol)

what am doing here today is to introduce 2 hell funny youtube comedians
user names are KevJumba and HappySlip
i tried to post kev's video once, only to find that i'd posted it to prosey-life-keeping,
which certainly no longer exists
but now am not posting
coz my sis has watched kev dislikes him a lot
the reason i know not
she said he resembled a disgusting guy in her high school,
whom i'm still guessing lol
so
since i know she reads my blog
to void her of the displeasure
you got mere text version

check them out.

*actually, i saw kev wearing a georgetown shirt in one of his videos
wonder if he's in D.C. lol

shield

i name it stagnancy
lest it's too bad the brutality
freezes at time
fridge a good device
if freezes the freshness of desire

if there's a siren
i thought i heard the sire sing
distant songs remain
twirling round and ding
what a nuance
i find not annoyance

phew
i feel
i hope you feel
i hope you chew

kill
intend not to kill
kill not thy pleasure nor my muse
i fear our becoming ill

shield

reading forbidden books

i feel like a voyeur
again
i could not help

i read your secret diary
i tasted your blueberries
i even licked your lips

my heart throbbed
i felt like your mistress
stole a part of you from you
jugged the heavenly juice from your forbidden fruit

i felt sinned

you are luscious
tempted me
exhausted me

God

tribute to a 8n3-month relationship

from really this i really have really learnt n thus can really acclaim my real flexibility in really perceiving n really comprehending a real person in a real brand real way
reel n really turn upside down the so called real inaccurate first impression
real right, really the real short real friendship with a real dear real friend of mine in reality
reo eat not oreo haha
so real and how so really dearly
how real good a real friend can really be it really wow the true real me in real reality
truthful n caring
ve really never encountered before
real great grate n swell

you can really see how in really real n really high mood i am really in
n perhaps you really may also really identify with how the real me think of how real good this real friend of mine really is lol


i know it's cliche
but time really flies
to visualise it, it flies infinite lightyears per every nanosecond ha

Das Zeit fliegt immer zu schnell!

fear versus excitement

how i want to become/ have becomed a modulator

today my cellmate n i stepped on the ascending esculator
i was in the cell n she was taking care of her cellmate
the chungking dweller was steps, higher n fronter, ahead of us
he looked back, n down, upon us n gave me the face
i noticed not of anything n regarded his face as a friendly smile
but i was proven wrong as he shot off from the lift
as he reached the top
as the esculator stopped
as the executor stepped on the bloody red emergency button
as i guessed he stepped on the holy bloody red emergency button

well, may be he had not

but i was truely finding it exciting indeed
bore not a sigh of blaming tone my cellmate had expected of me
had he really done a wrong deed us been fooled?
fooled if we were scared n drown with angst but i knew i had not
indeed i was submerged in the erratic excitement
exotic to my familien

am i or am i not the real pot plant in the glass house
too safely protected too comfortably housed
kind of exploited of danger you name it the protection i perceive as exploitation n deception
why have and why should not have i the so-called unusual sensation
the longing for excitment
the internal translator n convertor of turning angst into excitment
regard fear as sheer temptation
the wanton ignites darkwoods to give warm n jumpy bouncing flame in fire
ire i have not
dear i acclaim whoever n whatever grant me the seldom experience




wow

chalk choke shock

dont ever think a chalk is only powder
leaves no strain or track there after
let me tell ya
a chalk chokes
choke thy breath you cannot breath
pierce thy throat you senses leave
sense no more
slumber then in an ore

an ore you find no gems or minerals
but chalky carbon sheen not jewels
all angles dull and mortal
shine now, is then sorrow
row and swing between arrogance and desparado
what a temper
tame me sweeper

weep my sister



well...i know my problem

Tuesday, as good as always

Dear mr. Darcy,

it's always tuesday that i find my love
tuesday is choose day

today we have writing tutorial again
i feel i have become a bit too...pushy perhaps
not sure if the daisy would have been pushed away by my pushiness
anyway, the flora followed my direction
the flora had not floral print but zebra
not stripe but check shirt
today i earned a new perspective from a friend
she said, she disliked his being...kinda pretentious.
well, i dont see his being pretentious yet
but even if so, i still blush for it
blush in the bush on the seat sketch on pad
really needa jot down lest i'll forget

so i learn one more thing about mr. daisy
he's a drawer
hidden inside talents yet to discover

really appealed appalled by simply as superficially the look of it
the way he speaks, the thing he speaks,
the way he responds, the manner of always being at ease

embarassed me oder him, ich weiss nicht.
wir sind gleich

Gruess von deine Studentin
Prosey