silence in time

我希望
自己可以再心靜多點
思考可以再透徹點

at times i get too hysterical
i am well aware of this
but i cannot find away to be not hysterical, to be not dramatic
i do not find being quiet in front of other people an easy task
i am just still not quite used to this yet
i mean, what if the friend is the talkie type
i mean, how would the friend perceive me if i look numb
i wonder, if the friend would take me as being introvert or boring or dumb or cold and arrogant
i mean
i have not met one single person whom i can sit with comfortably without saying anything
i think you see what i mean
there's always the obscure silence suspending
the unease that reduces our thinking
distracts and diverts to the ugly worldly road
the so-called grand boulevard
the boulevard in a filthy noisy metropolitan
not intend to offence
i mean
the road certainly still has lots to offer
people, glamour, politics
but what i need most is silence and transcendence
if not transcendence, the modest connection to the inner soul

well, of course i act dramatically when i get high at times
i am ecstatic and i look insane

But i love being silent on my own
to hear tick tack of a clock
to hear people hustle
to hear cars speed
to hear wind murmur
to hear beetle sound
to hear bird sing
to hear my own heart throbbing

i look forward to listen to sounds of the world no longer alone
you my soul mate?

我希望
自己可以再心靜多點
思考可以再透徹點

i wish
you are with me in wordless silence.