fear versus excitement

how i want to become/ have becomed a modulator

today my cellmate n i stepped on the ascending esculator
i was in the cell n she was taking care of her cellmate
the chungking dweller was steps, higher n fronter, ahead of us
he looked back, n down, upon us n gave me the face
i noticed not of anything n regarded his face as a friendly smile
but i was proven wrong as he shot off from the lift
as he reached the top
as the esculator stopped
as the executor stepped on the bloody red emergency button
as i guessed he stepped on the holy bloody red emergency button

well, may be he had not

but i was truely finding it exciting indeed
bore not a sigh of blaming tone my cellmate had expected of me
had he really done a wrong deed us been fooled?
fooled if we were scared n drown with angst but i knew i had not
indeed i was submerged in the erratic excitement
exotic to my familien

am i or am i not the real pot plant in the glass house
too safely protected too comfortably housed
kind of exploited of danger you name it the protection i perceive as exploitation n deception
why have and why should not have i the so-called unusual sensation
the longing for excitment
the internal translator n convertor of turning angst into excitment
regard fear as sheer temptation
the wanton ignites darkwoods to give warm n jumpy bouncing flame in fire
ire i have not
dear i acclaim whoever n whatever grant me the seldom experience




wow