i doubt if we share the same genes
dont you think we are too different to be in the same family?
i even think we are too different to be of the same gender.
jesus christ. i like no female like this. holy crap.
or
if even the same species shouldnt contain two beings so distinct,
i could give up being a human and transcend into a tree.
chop me.

thought i have said too many times that i would rather be a boy.
to me, true or not, a boy has more freedom, coming with more responsibility deemed less a burden than imprisonment.
liberty is so important. autonomy and anarchy are what i secretly look up to.
anarchy could be a good thing, i suppose, if the citizens know how to live
the supremest being having the order from our heart, cultivated from within, needs not the external confinement, stupid law to teach that always fail to meet up with the ever-changing exterior.
and a boy can take a more active role, in numerous matters indeed.
carefree and rational, more on matters and less on people (jeez).

so stupid. plain stupidity.
so unnecessary.
ghastly and ugly.

i want friendships between males
more physical and less emotional. i presume.
seen quite some examples along the way
well ofcourse there are some non ones, but there certainly is more physicality between males than females?
more bodily more geometric more regular
less about feeling and more about regularity
so muscular so strong so physical so simple
thumb downs to complications.

my other idealisation in my absence
and its not about me.
never involved.

ironically i say i dont feel it right. its mental. it kills.