inexplicably happpppiiiii

im so exciteddddd

shud be quite unhappy having finished my last paper (oh my heart still aches a bit and i feel the spasm tho im still in general HAPPY lol)

i have always loved writing papers forcing myself to dig deep in a subject and get inspired and learn more through researching or just thinking
i love condensing thoughts and structuring them and all
its painstaking but feels GREAT
so fulfilling so rewarding
oh christ i wrote 4200 words lolll
thats like 2 papers in just 3 or 4 days omg i cant believe
9 pages in total. single spaced
alright i sound bragging now shud know how useless papers now are everyone publishes and submit to overrated journals
and theres grade inflation and stuff hahahaha but i feel like being happy hahahahaha
okay i have judas and the edge of glory with me all the time hahahahahahahahaha

alright i sound really really weird tonight

but now im happy cause
im going to xinjiang so soon
oh i feel the vibeeee yayyyyyyy
ahahahahahaha shudnt be tooooooo hing fun tho
expect less to enjoy the thrill the most ohhhhh but i cant help myself its hilarious

been so happy the entire dayyy!

and im happy when i think abt getting in the whole new world of work
its really weird tho its so abnormal that im so positive and happy and blahblahblah
but im seriously
happy and positive and all im confident and im happy cause i think im gonna be happy in things i find.
i mean i dont think im gonna do what i now want but i think im gonna be placed where im gonna find some new love
like studying english. like studying biology
i mean i never knew i would enjoy it but fate always turns out to be so good to me
have this adaptive and positive and insane gene
so very blessssed

haha pama not at home tonight
and i had a happy day out with gajie
and pama called and i was telling them the same
sounding extremely optimistic about getting a job and im gonna enjoy what i do
cause im adaptive and positive and all
and im so unbelievably capable lolll
alright i admit i have my very subjective understanding of what capable means XD
at least i love what i study and know and think and all
yayyyyyy i just think and im happy
wow so cool i get happy just by thinking!

omg im so abnormally happy tonight

not that strange hyperness but real
joy
ahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

and im listening to lenka now!

oh dear and i have such a nice day out under good weather this afternoon
she got what she want and i got what i want: a happy her hahahahahahaha
so precious so precious so precious
had good food and happy conversation fun atmosphere and at night we were talking on my bed and wahhh so rare lollll sort of mo liu because pama not at home but all fine cause im happyyyyy

so stream of consciousness hahahahaha

oh mine im tired but i dont wanna sleep away my happiness
read some catcher in the rye? will it make me cynical again lol