how could someone read and not moved?
the courage have i
or not
to do Things that mean something
Things that matter i crave i could
i pledge i would (so heavy i bear till collapse)
been reading the horror of this planet
aka brutality and bloodiness
aka stupidity and absurdity
aka impoverishment and barrenness of places
aka exploitation and discrimination of people
and more
all caused by us -- the supreme species of all
yuck gods children
so cursed
(are we created to be cursed? to suffer unknowingly, i.e. the worst of all suffereings?)
massacre of some races
inhumane treatment of females
(oh right these things have never stopped to my surprise)
and more
all are indeed
beings that are 99.999% us
and i mean both murders and victims
so too we are capable of similar savageness
(does harming people bring at least temporary satisfaction?)
just the thin thought of this scares the hell out of me.
or are we all feeble and fragile and helpless
for i already tend to think i am courageless and useless
wont make a difference whether this world has one more warm or cold heart
oder? bitte persuade me otherwise.
or i might convince myself
yes i could give up on mine because im tiny like dust
why bother
why am i brought to earth now i protest
i have never wanted to exist
you dont have my consent to bring me into existence
you steal my right of existence denial...
and now in my forced existence, i needa validate and legitimise my existence by doing good to the world (or what or how?)
which takes effort i aint sure i could afford to place
for i am selfish
and feeble and useless
three of probably more horrid characters passed to me through dirty genes and blood
(is there false logic going on here? i need some logical people)
and people say
dementia is a blessing
cause you know less think less and care less
this is nonsense
total crap
because non-existence, or death, is better than dementia.
helllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllllll im so darkk.
correction: THIS WORLD is sof dark hellllllllllllllllllll.
who lied to me that reading brings pleasure?
how could i care about exam and worlds with friends and xinjiang and icecream and job and money and Cynicism blahblahblah when there are lives constantly being taken away out there (hahahahahahaha). best excuses. i deserve nothing but execution.
°°°
unless im really doing something something
wailing and complaining and criticising here should be forbidden
alright
back on the healthy track
wow im impressed lol
Zendagi migzara -- Rahim Khan
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