everything just brightens up
and i reread my previous puzzlements
they make me smile
puzzle pieces lost and found

and i am curious about the ''counter puzzlements''
i promise: no laugh
just
delight and blushes

and emotions are infectious

i am so very happy
(not hyper, in a negative sense: hyper to internalize the upness.
the outside-in approach.)
im happy from within

and
i wanna spread it out so much
or its me who could not help overspilling joy
nothing quite intentional
every bit subconscious
overjoyed

i spend almost the entire day with my family
i talk a lot and i treat everybody so nicely
i think they like it a lot too
happy fathers day
for fathers
and people who have the courage to love children
care for people
take up responsibilities to care and love for people
°easier said than done
but i see actions from people around me
i could burst into tears for these wonderful beings

i asked my father if he regretted building a family
i mean
no easy task raising two kids no?
and both papa and mama said
no regrets
they wanted to just give
never expected reward in any ways
gosh this is so insane

i might sort of understand it but
really?
so selfless?
or...
maybe the family is themselves too
could i regard the whole universe as myself?
all humanities
crazy

like
human rights activists
thats
aaaaaaaaaa lot
of love and
fright

its like
risking oneselfs wellbeing for some other people
i mean
if i dont give a damn about other people i could always be
calm and not-unhappy
in contrast with people who care
and risk being
disappointed
saddened
worried
given up
but also
cheered
supported
cared
loved

arent all festivals just celebrations for love?
yes every single one of them about human relationships of all kinds

or do i unconsciously have a purpose being so happy today?
i might want
people and my family to like the present-me
the me who is happy
from within
the me who wants to love
and make everyone else loves

wow i sound like a saint now but yes im a disciple of love of all kinds
between people and about nature and other creatures and all

feeling quite
different from how i usually am
still
weird but
i will make weirdness normality
yes will do
as long as it could be
ah!