i feel like i have never been interested in playing a matchmaker
i mean
if they are really good for each other
they will be together anyway
your intervention interferes
either your match the mismatch
or you scare one in the match
what a scary friend reflects about this person
why bother bossing around bitching bitch
if one or neither of them intends not to commit
you fool yourself fool
and i wouldnt want to like make room for them neither
i mean they will need friends still after they become a couple
the girl has to aware and understand that the guy is not just her boyfriend
but also a friend of some other boys and girls
and the boy has to understand that there will still be boys and girls around his girlfriend
this world is not just about romance
but also bromance
and comradeship LOL
and friendships
and complications
bitchy matchmakers
Freitag, 18. Dezember 2009
Sonntag, 13. Dezember 2009
good morning my beautiful
saturday, 20.10
sunday, 09.10
good morning my beautiful
im thinking what you are doing.
are you off your beds yet?
i wish not, sleep for a longer while after a long week of work
eat more, dont read too much
dont think
live
do you have a cold or random aches?
gosh i wish you have my body, even though it is not as slim
by my arm still my arm
busy i bet, just, dont be bothered by whatever too badly
they will be over anyway
take it easy
i wish you would
i wish i would take up your role, you mine, the next life
wait for me.
missu.
sunday, 09.10
good morning my beautiful
im thinking what you are doing.
are you off your beds yet?
i wish not, sleep for a longer while after a long week of work
eat more, dont read too much
dont think
live
do you have a cold or random aches?
gosh i wish you have my body, even though it is not as slim
by my arm still my arm
busy i bet, just, dont be bothered by whatever too badly
they will be over anyway
take it easy
i wish you would
i wish i would take up your role, you mine, the next life
wait for me.
missu.
哭笑不得
很下流的書. 寫得很好. 世界就是荒誕.
兄弟 - 余華
花傻子是我
can greatness be found in pure comedies, but satires and tragedies?
兄弟 - 余華
花傻子是我
can greatness be found in pure comedies, but satires and tragedies?
Samstag, 12. Dezember 2009
moulding rigidity
Die Luft des Lands ist ganz schwierig
flexibility
is not a mattress
not quite soft
could be spongy
like a bun
or a sponge
pillow is it not
not so supportive
not for your brain
but instincts
so i slept on
collapsed not my physicality
but my rotten mind
sedate mentality
frozen and smeared
resin
gum and pitch
i thought i was both well developed and flexible
stubborn not the word cause its derogatory
i have a well developed perfectly right devine and absolute set of morals and values
thats what i said
rigidity all crashed
recurring challenges
costs incurred
a brutally crushed mind
not a mean thing to do though
i said i would prefer someone who never cross when the red figure stares
now i know there are not always traffic lights on the crossings sides
and the systems go wrong too often
i thought we could tell right and wrong by instincts
now im living with someone without instincts
and she exhibits a bringing up without righteousness
people living in propaganda and cholera
1984 is the righteousness
brainwasher
is our education our society our vision
brainwashed
to not comprehend not to critically evaluate not even to process complexity
human intricacy
i thought it was civilisation
who defines civilisation
civilised beings
i thought i was cynical
now ive met the cynical
objective world beyond my subjective point of view
i thought there is nothing objective in this world
everything is perceived subjectively
given us subjective beings
swayed
wasted
LIvEs
flexibility
is not a mattress
not quite soft
could be spongy
like a bun
or a sponge
pillow is it not
not so supportive
not for your brain
but instincts
so i slept on
collapsed not my physicality
but my rotten mind
sedate mentality
frozen and smeared
resin
gum and pitch
i thought i was both well developed and flexible
stubborn not the word cause its derogatory
i have a well developed perfectly right devine and absolute set of morals and values
thats what i said
rigidity all crashed
recurring challenges
costs incurred
a brutally crushed mind
not a mean thing to do though
i said i would prefer someone who never cross when the red figure stares
now i know there are not always traffic lights on the crossings sides
and the systems go wrong too often
i thought we could tell right and wrong by instincts
now im living with someone without instincts
and she exhibits a bringing up without righteousness
people living in propaganda and cholera
1984 is the righteousness
brainwasher
is our education our society our vision
brainwashed
to not comprehend not to critically evaluate not even to process complexity
human intricacy
i thought it was civilisation
who defines civilisation
civilised beings
i thought i was cynical
now ive met the cynical
objective world beyond my subjective point of view
i thought there is nothing objective in this world
everything is perceived subjectively
given us subjective beings
swayed
wasted
LIvEs
Sonntag, 6. Dezember 2009
燃眉燒蛋
煎蛋還是有油好
我實在是有點瘋了
十二頁的功課星期二四時十五分到期
今天下午還有心情看頒獎典禮
現在只剛開始寫第二頁
而寫來雖然未算順心
但對於分析詩篇仍感興奮
燃眉燒蛋
你太不專心了
希望明天可以完成八頁!
怎麼我的中文這麼爛...
想告解...
昨天晚上第一次出貓了
室友做了我一半的德文功課...
謝謝意大利朋友送的喬治城蛋糕杯
及室友送的倒數聖誕月曆!
我實在是有點瘋了
十二頁的功課星期二四時十五分到期
今天下午還有心情看頒獎典禮
現在只剛開始寫第二頁
而寫來雖然未算順心
但對於分析詩篇仍感興奮
燃眉燒蛋
你太不專心了
希望明天可以完成八頁!
怎麼我的中文這麼爛...
想告解...
昨天晚上第一次出貓了
室友做了我一半的德文功課...
謝謝意大利朋友送的喬治城蛋糕杯
及室友送的倒數聖誕月曆!
Samstag, 5. Dezember 2009
soybeantofu
cannot reason the lack of motivation
cannot convince my eyes to look at german
cannot perceive a word of cummings
what am i doing here
dwell in nothingness
indulge in emptiness
be killed by blank sheets of layers of i dont know what
i am made of bean curd
crushed upon touch
so
back off
cannot convince my eyes to look at german
cannot perceive a word of cummings
what am i doing here
dwell in nothingness
indulge in emptiness
be killed by blank sheets of layers of i dont know what
i am made of bean curd
crushed upon touch
so
back off
Freitag, 4. Dezember 2009
Samstag, 28. November 2009
the book that haunts
i dont even have to ask
why would i have to
1984 dystopia has always been in existence
not in HK
not in the US
but somewhere out there in the continent that cuts the equator
the continent of intense heat and fire
people are living 36 years ahead of george orwell, 25 years behind me
totalitarian authority
absolute dictatorship
corruption and brutality
have never ceased
big brother may and may not be an actual person
it is a seed in our heart
why does power tempt?
we know it
but we just do not want to admit there they are
what people comment about north korea and zimbabwe and sudan and so
they tell me how the chinese government has been funding the corrupted government
arms and violence
rapes and warfares
or the people in position accuse the west for not transacting with them
i dont know if we should, i mean with you as the sponge to soak your peoples money
living in purgatory
in transition
why would i have to
1984 dystopia has always been in existence
not in HK
not in the US
but somewhere out there in the continent that cuts the equator
the continent of intense heat and fire
people are living 36 years ahead of george orwell, 25 years behind me
totalitarian authority
absolute dictatorship
corruption and brutality
have never ceased
big brother may and may not be an actual person
it is a seed in our heart
why does power tempt?
we know it
but we just do not want to admit there they are
what people comment about north korea and zimbabwe and sudan and so
they tell me how the chinese government has been funding the corrupted government
arms and violence
rapes and warfares
or the people in position accuse the west for not transacting with them
i dont know if we should, i mean with you as the sponge to soak your peoples money
living in purgatory
in transition
Freitag, 27. November 2009
irretrievable moments
summer between primary and secondary schools we played the alphabets resembling game and our class produced our own magazine
f.1 i pulled the legs of your chair and you fell with your chair. u didnt say it was me
summer between f.1 n 2 u told me that u want salty snacks i stayed in the bathroom as u took a shower
f.2 we sang that hilarious song to entertain people, including apple LOL
summer between f.2 n 3 i learnt what hiccup means
f.4-5 choir practice every morning
class teacher helped me cheat in an additional math exam
charlies angels sketched together, occasional sundaes
f.6 we played hangmen at least once a week during recess
we poked each others waists during class
i taught u arabic numbers during biology class
we had lunch in the art room reading bible some thursday
the whole class played mafia til 7 at night, in our classroom
f.1 i pulled the legs of your chair and you fell with your chair. u didnt say it was me
summer between f.1 n 2 u told me that u want salty snacks i stayed in the bathroom as u took a shower
f.2 we sang that hilarious song to entertain people, including apple LOL
summer between f.2 n 3 i learnt what hiccup means
f.4-5 choir practice every morning
class teacher helped me cheat in an additional math exam
charlies angels sketched together, occasional sundaes
f.6 we played hangmen at least once a week during recess
we poked each others waists during class
i taught u arabic numbers during biology class
we had lunch in the art room reading bible some thursday
the whole class played mafia til 7 at night, in our classroom
Dienstag, 24. November 2009
stream of ice cream
pressing on doomsday machine still doesnt despair me
oh how sturdy i am
how brawny we are
wiry are men as metallic earth wire.
glitter if not twitter like albatrosses
similated parrots in paroles
imprisoned not
joy in grids
i count on the days the hours the minutes the seconds we exchange
thoughts as body fluids
i know you know i know you know i know you
complicated enough
spiders know their ways in a spiderweb
tighted enough irrational sense and sensibility
but suffocates not but enlivens
not quite insanity
cares not sanity
what bothers albert
einstein is not ein Stein i bet he scream we wanted ice cream
stones underneath water laid on riverbank exposed as water recedes
shines and glows like Edelstein blinds me they are bright blindfolders
i looked down on my left uncasted arm hairs curly black ILL pores clogged protruding
so what i murmured i have families and friends and trust and love and everything i need
to clear my pores clenser and soap and foam and towel and cream and whatever essetialties
casualties are the sebum on my skin
or is it dead body preservatives
forever sealed species of dead insects like in resin or gum or pitch
that pinches and pins
well framed
obituaries infinities
i say again
i love my family
oh how sturdy i am
how brawny we are
wiry are men as metallic earth wire.
glitter if not twitter like albatrosses
similated parrots in paroles
imprisoned not
joy in grids
i count on the days the hours the minutes the seconds we exchange
thoughts as body fluids
i know you know i know you know i know you
complicated enough
spiders know their ways in a spiderweb
tighted enough irrational sense and sensibility
but suffocates not but enlivens
not quite insanity
cares not sanity
what bothers albert
einstein is not ein Stein i bet he scream we wanted ice cream
stones underneath water laid on riverbank exposed as water recedes
shines and glows like Edelstein blinds me they are bright blindfolders
i looked down on my left uncasted arm hairs curly black ILL pores clogged protruding
so what i murmured i have families and friends and trust and love and everything i need
to clear my pores clenser and soap and foam and towel and cream and whatever essetialties
casualties are the sebum on my skin
or is it dead body preservatives
forever sealed species of dead insects like in resin or gum or pitch
that pinches and pins
well framed
obituaries infinities
i say again
i love my family
Sonntag, 22. November 2009
A Virginal
Prosey:
Yes, yes! Come to me. I have desired lately.
I will not wipe your spine with much too hardness,
For our surrounding air hath a new coldness;
bumpy are my thighs, yet they have bound your tightly
And let it cloaked us with a pile of dry weed;
As with crushed methadone; as with crouching bitterness.
Oh it has spelled a swearword in its nearness
To slaughter us half in half the heads that read.
Yes, yes! Come to me. I have still the ecstacy,
high as orgy that´s a ritual of multiplication
green shoots swords withdrawn, aye it revolves in circles
Circumferential wound with her sleight arm muscles
Both of the barks a metaphor of the action:
As transparent their mourns, so generous the cupid´s charity.
Ezra:
No, no! Go from me. I have left her lately.
I will not spoil my sheath with lesser brightness,
For my surrounding air hath a new lightness;
Slight are her arms, yet they have bound me straitly
And left me cloaked as with a gauze of aether;
As with sweet leaves; as with subtle clearness.
Oh, I have picked up magic in her nearness
To sheathe me half in half the things that sheathe her.
No, no! Go from me. I have still the flavour,
Soft as spring wind that's come from birchen bowers.
Green come the shoots, aye April in the branches,
As winter's wound with her sleight hand she staunches,
Hath of the trees a likeness of the savour:
As white their bark, so white this lady's hours.
Yes, yes! Come to me. I have desired lately.
I will not wipe your spine with much too hardness,
For our surrounding air hath a new coldness;
bumpy are my thighs, yet they have bound your tightly
And let it cloaked us with a pile of dry weed;
As with crushed methadone; as with crouching bitterness.
Oh it has spelled a swearword in its nearness
To slaughter us half in half the heads that read.
Yes, yes! Come to me. I have still the ecstacy,
high as orgy that´s a ritual of multiplication
green shoots swords withdrawn, aye it revolves in circles
Circumferential wound with her sleight arm muscles
Both of the barks a metaphor of the action:
As transparent their mourns, so generous the cupid´s charity.
Ezra:
No, no! Go from me. I have left her lately.
I will not spoil my sheath with lesser brightness,
For my surrounding air hath a new lightness;
Slight are her arms, yet they have bound me straitly
And left me cloaked as with a gauze of aether;
As with sweet leaves; as with subtle clearness.
Oh, I have picked up magic in her nearness
To sheathe me half in half the things that sheathe her.
No, no! Go from me. I have still the flavour,
Soft as spring wind that's come from birchen bowers.
Green come the shoots, aye April in the branches,
As winter's wound with her sleight hand she staunches,
Hath of the trees a likeness of the savour:
As white their bark, so white this lady's hours.
Freitag, 20. November 2009
Sonntag, 15. November 2009
Freitag, 13. November 2009
chagrined
chagrined
an other fascinating adjective i have just acquired from this adorable old school professor.
the last one was
whimsical.
i expect more.
° still i find verbs more practical than adjectives. german verbs are driving me insane.
Wenn ich chagrined wäre, würde ich Proseybrook schreiben.
°kuss kuss
an other fascinating adjective i have just acquired from this adorable old school professor.
the last one was
whimsical.
i expect more.
° still i find verbs more practical than adjectives. german verbs are driving me insane.
Wenn ich chagrined wäre, würde ich Proseybrook schreiben.
°kuss kuss
Mittwoch, 11. November 2009
high school graduation recapture
OH
MY
GOD
we look soooooo small.
felt like 10 years has passed LOL
* why was i pretending to be old.
i love our child's faces
Dienstag, 10. November 2009
i should type in chinese
i should be reading my books.
i bought them over
but i still havent finished my george.
so how i dispense my free time?
i wander on the internet
fix my eyeballs on this goddamn luminating computer screen
make myself terribly tired
and i can never sit up straight
keep being a hamai shrimp rice
really bad spine i have
really bad body shape i have
scheisse.
and i go to the hallway trying to find people to talk to
but everyone is so busy like all the time
wellwellwell i know i know
they are regular students
and this school is elitest
people pull an all nighter like at least once a week
what can i say to that
except
gayau
good luck sounds awkward to me
people succeed not by having luck
but by how much effort they have invested, dont they?
and sort of fed up with saying bless you when someone sneeze
well
both me and my roomie
i mean
we dont really bless the sneezing nose, do we?
and
i dont feel like learning much english here
i tend to be silent when people talk
i just dont want to be the stone that impedes the flow of peoples wonderful conversation
i learn as i listen
well may be more by participating
but
i am sooooo dumb and stupid when i think and talk in english
i dont have the word i dont think as fast i cannot structure a natural and sensible sentence
the silent lamb
to be slaughtered
maybe im learning more german
but im still like a mute
exchange experience...........................................................................................................................
basically to learn how dumb i actually am
and it feels both good and awful
would you rather be a happy pig or a stressed human?
i bought them over
but i still havent finished my george.
so how i dispense my free time?
i wander on the internet
fix my eyeballs on this goddamn luminating computer screen
make myself terribly tired
and i can never sit up straight
keep being a hamai shrimp rice
really bad spine i have
really bad body shape i have
scheisse.
and i go to the hallway trying to find people to talk to
but everyone is so busy like all the time
wellwellwell i know i know
they are regular students
and this school is elitest
people pull an all nighter like at least once a week
what can i say to that
except
gayau
good luck sounds awkward to me
people succeed not by having luck
but by how much effort they have invested, dont they?
and sort of fed up with saying bless you when someone sneeze
well
both me and my roomie
i mean
we dont really bless the sneezing nose, do we?
and
i dont feel like learning much english here
i tend to be silent when people talk
i just dont want to be the stone that impedes the flow of peoples wonderful conversation
i learn as i listen
well may be more by participating
but
i am sooooo dumb and stupid when i think and talk in english
i dont have the word i dont think as fast i cannot structure a natural and sensible sentence
the silent lamb
to be slaughtered
maybe im learning more german
but im still like a mute
exchange experience...........................................................................................................................
basically to learn how dumb i actually am
and it feels both good and awful
would you rather be a happy pig or a stressed human?
Freitag, 6. November 2009
Double Virginal - played by James Nicolson
this instrument is a combination of strings and a piano :)
Sonntag, 1. November 2009
it is complicated
we were talking about meaning of life
pursuits of life
what should we do in our life
what we want to do in our life
life
as the most fortunate creation of perhaps massive amount of atoms collision
conversion of energy
unite of that one particular sperm and that one particular ovum
it is divine
not what we are supposed to do with it
but
what we want our lives to be
do we actually own the authority of how we live our lives?
how much say do we have?
why would we
why should we
we do benefit
as well as be destroyed
by getting educated
the way
the boring way
the monodirectional (whatever the word should be) way
the material already scanned, shieved, picked
why couldnt i choose what i wanted to learn
cause
i wasnt old enough to know what i wanted
i still dont know what i want
pathetic huh
so before we hit the gavel
before we choose our own path
should we follow what the society wants us to do
but
what does the society wants
there are constantly conflicting voices
get education
criticizing the system
bureacracy
rotted candy it is
but before we know what we want
why dont we do what is expected of us?
though during the course fo exploration bz following the rountine usual common path
we could have been irreversibly influenced
homogenised
robotised
or not?
irresolvable conflict it is
we want to get the ability to live our own life
in our own whimsical way however
and this is achieved by living the way they want us to
cause however we want to live our way
we live in their society
where is my world?
ultimate paradox
we were talking about meaning of life
pursuits of life
what should we do in our life
what we want to do in our life
life
as the most fortunate creation of perhaps massive amount of atoms collision
conversion of energy
unite of that one particular sperm and that one particular ovum
it is divine
not what we are supposed to do with it
but
what we want our lives to be
do we actually own the authority of how we live our lives?
how much say do we have?
why would we
why should we
we do benefit
as well as be destroyed
by getting educated
the way
the boring way
the monodirectional (whatever the word should be) way
the material already scanned, shieved, picked
why couldnt i choose what i wanted to learn
cause
i wasnt old enough to know what i wanted
i still dont know what i want
pathetic huh
so before we hit the gavel
before we choose our own path
should we follow what the society wants us to do
but
what does the society wants
there are constantly conflicting voices
get education
criticizing the system
bureacracy
rotted candy it is
but before we know what we want
why dont we do what is expected of us?
though during the course fo exploration bz following the rountine usual common path
we could have been irreversibly influenced
homogenised
robotised
or not?
irresolvable conflict it is
we want to get the ability to live our own life
in our own whimsical way however
and this is achieved by living the way they want us to
cause however we want to live our way
we live in their society
where is my world?
ultimate paradox
Mittwoch, 28. Oktober 2009
mister pearl
dak han yum cha...LOL
i never thought that someone would say this to me
com´ on
this is such a cliche
either we ll do sth more than just yum cha
or
we ll never meet again
well
i hope we ll meet at epic
;)
u r a pearl
seriously i was chicken enuf not to comment on that n on u
still need t to crystallise my thoughts
yet a crystal
yet impenetrable
yr string of words
yr beams of thoughts
r
like lasers
stronger
starker
than infrared
ultra
violet
as blue ray
rats
rat
you cheated
m cheated
no
just yet to comprehend
enchanted
by
mystery
dizzled dazzled
diesel muscles
whimsy whamsy
clammy horny
i never thought that someone would say this to me
com´ on
this is such a cliche
either we ll do sth more than just yum cha
or
we ll never meet again
well
i hope we ll meet at epic
;)
u r a pearl
seriously i was chicken enuf not to comment on that n on u
still need t to crystallise my thoughts
yet a crystal
yet impenetrable
yr string of words
yr beams of thoughts
r
like lasers
stronger
starker
than infrared
ultra
violet
as blue ray
rats
rat
you cheated
m cheated
no
just yet to comprehend
enchanted
by
mystery
dizzled dazzled
diesel muscles
whimsy whamsy
clammy horny
Sonntag, 25. Oktober 2009
Freitag, 23. Oktober 2009
Mittwoch, 21. Oktober 2009
Hong Kong 係 Nummer eins...
from a friend's fb shared link. enjoy!!
World's Greatest City: 50 reasons why Hong Kong is No. 1 CNNGo
天啊
我很想念香港
見到朋友在上載於臉孔書的照片
極度希望自己就與他們在一起
在家在學校在打球在香港便捷的鐵路站
人離鄉
未太賤
不過
的確
龍床
不及
狗竇
即使
香港
天不高
環境窄
我還是愛它的
hong kong novelty.
World's Greatest City: 50 reasons why Hong Kong is No. 1 CNNGo
天啊
我很想念香港
見到朋友在上載於臉孔書的照片
極度希望自己就與他們在一起
在家在學校在打球在香港便捷的鐵路站
人離鄉
未太賤
不過
的確
龍床
不及
狗竇
即使
香港
天不高
環境窄
我還是愛它的
hong kong novelty.
Dienstag, 20. Oktober 2009
my laughing genie in whipped cream dischargers/ eating whipped cream under 37 degree c
i wanted to write a tribute for anaesthesia, people who invented it, surgery, and people who invented it. wanted to thank modern tech. could not imagine what would happen if i break my arm in like 1700, not that i would not be able to have my bones realigned, but i could have died from pain during the course of incision and surgery, if there were such things.
if there were previous life, i thought i might have died from breaking my bones, and the pain it caused. i was probably from england, or germany. so i might have been a gent, or a hitler fan. i bet lol. i kid. dont take me seriously.
so i wikipediaed anaesthesia, n linked n clicked n jumped over to Chirurgie, by accident, then i came across this - laughing gas.
so what the heck is laughing gas (it reminds me of laughing gor btw XD). its a gas that makes people both numb, n laugh (i dont know why. too hilarios to be true: hell! a gas that makes people laugh?!) "euphoric effect" it has it says.
"Nitrous oxide, commonly known as happy gas or laughing gas, is a chemical compound with the chemical formula N2O. At room temperature, it is a colorless non-flammable gas, with a pleasant, slightly sweet odor and taste. It is used in surgery and dentistry for its anesthetic and analgesic effects. It is known as "laughing gas" due to the euphoric effects of inhaling it, a property that has led to its recreational use as a dissociative drug...
Nitrous oxide reacts with ozone and is the main naturally occurring regulator of stratospheric ozone. Nitrous oxide is also a major greenhouse gas and air pollutant. Considered over a 100 year period, it has 298 times more impact per unit weight than carbon dioxide...
Nitrous oxide (N2O) is a dissociative drug that can cause analgesia, depersonalization, derealization, dizziness, euphoria, and some sound distortion."
so, think abt this:
global warming comes with hullcination. how funny it could be.
n i miss my chemistry:
NH4NO3 (s) → 2 H2O (g) + N2O (g)
2 NH3 + 2 O2 → N2O + 3 H2O
HNO3 + NH2SO3H → N2O + H2SO4 + H2O
NH3OH+Cl− + NaNO2 → N2O + NaCl + 2 H2O
well, sort of.
now i know why people have natural high.
if there were previous life, i thought i might have died from breaking my bones, and the pain it caused. i was probably from england, or germany. so i might have been a gent, or a hitler fan. i bet lol. i kid. dont take me seriously.
so i wikipediaed anaesthesia, n linked n clicked n jumped over to Chirurgie, by accident, then i came across this - laughing gas.
so what the heck is laughing gas (it reminds me of laughing gor btw XD). its a gas that makes people both numb, n laugh (i dont know why. too hilarios to be true: hell! a gas that makes people laugh?!) "euphoric effect" it has it says.
"Nitrous oxide, commonly known as happy gas or laughing gas, is a chemical compound with the chemical formula N2O. At room temperature, it is a colorless non-flammable gas, with a pleasant, slightly sweet odor and taste. It is used in surgery and dentistry for its anesthetic and analgesic effects. It is known as "laughing gas" due to the euphoric effects of inhaling it, a property that has led to its recreational use as a dissociative drug...
Nitrous oxide reacts with ozone and is the main naturally occurring regulator of stratospheric ozone. Nitrous oxide is also a major greenhouse gas and air pollutant. Considered over a 100 year period, it has 298 times more impact per unit weight than carbon dioxide...
Nitrous oxide (N2O) is a dissociative drug that can cause analgesia, depersonalization, derealization, dizziness, euphoria, and some sound distortion."
so, think abt this:
global warming comes with hullcination. how funny it could be.
n i miss my chemistry:
NH4NO3 (s) → 2 H2O (g) + N2O (g)
2 NH3 + 2 O2 → N2O + 3 H2O
HNO3 + NH2SO3H → N2O + H2SO4 + H2O
NH3OH+Cl− + NaNO2 → N2O + NaCl + 2 H2O
well, sort of.
now i know why people have natural high.
Montag, 19. Oktober 2009
pieces of the cripple
oct 15 - gift for sis' bday lol: portrait of this naked man.
love his face. he was real sleepy. kinda like a buddha.
love his face. he was real sleepy. kinda like a buddha.though, his body is not quite good sketch.
another post
room, after >1.5 months,
kinda messy. but look at my Deutsche Mauer. good progress huh.
after a weekend of revision. felt like learning 100 more new vocab.
another post
room, after >1.5 months,
kinda messy. but look at my Deutsche Mauer. good progress huh.
after a weekend of revision. felt like learning 100 more new vocab.
Freitag, 16. Oktober 2009
write to escape the ravine
feel so compelled to write something.
at least little something
have been fairly stressed
wouldnt know why
i mean
i know why
but they shouldnt have been reasons big enough to put my heart in the valley
have i been too sentimental
too emotion
i wouldnt know
i just wouldnt know
i just dont want to know
i just wouldnt want to know
maybe i would want to know
or maybe not
i dont know
annoying
i dont know what i dont know what i know and what i want to or not want to know
super annoying
so there is my genius fracturing my arm.
and there is my retarded skipping and lagging behind in class
maybe i could but i havent even tried to read
ernest, f scott and gertrude
virginia coming up
i know not what im gonna do
i just hated novels for class
they are too long for me
this is an excuse i confess
whatever
i just dont know what would i become after like 5 or 10 or 15 years
would i remember all these?
just after 3 years
i feel like losing all my beloved (adjective, past tense) biology
i mean
i really liked it
but now i can say almost no jargons of the endocrine system
i want my biology back
not sure if it's a waste of time
i mean
what im studying
why mi studying
what for
i told myself i loved literature i loved art
they inspire me
in fact they do
but
so what
in this secular
mudane
carnal
world
how good it is to be inspired?
am i desparate
am i too disappointed
have i been too cynical
have i been too lofty
god damn this whimsical girl who lives on this earth and lives not in this world
goddamn
god forbade!
and you are from hk, this extreme place of practicality
god forbade
and im yelling god forbade when im not that devout and pious
god forbade as a platitude as a goddamn god forbade cliche
how ridiculous
this is a wanton's speech
i sigh
i push my deepest breath of air out of my alveoli!
ay ayy ayyy ayyyy ayyyyy
whatever
no one hears it
so i was saying my broken arm n awful academia
n
granny is hurt
n
im physically distant from my beloved family and friends
n
i cannot concentrate at work
(this is why im typing this)
(this is both the cause n result of all other causes i think - vicious circle)
damn
but i know what i should do
i tell myself to focus on how blessed (too religious a term) or how lucky or how (simply) good things around me are
i do things that make myself FROH
zum Beispiel
stalking catty's blog (Laughing out loud, well it does make me so happy Laughing out loud)
i dont know
stay on pandora radio (that's pandora.com, too bad that it only works in th US), but it's awesome
draw naked people as an escape (i just love drawing, or better say anything involves a pen n a paper that is not writing. no wait, i love writing, but nothing academic)
and cook good food: yes ive been eating so well. i dont have a meal plan but i eat so healthy. i love mushrooms n sweet peppers n veggie n yogurt n chewy oat or granola bars
und so weiter und so weiter.
yes
i make myself pretty happy
but im so eager to know why im doing what im doing in here
i meet great people here
seriously
journalism people
a photographer from reuters who travels the world n followed obama throughout his election
another photographer who took (funny and) serious pictures of bush during his 8 years of presidency
a person from washington post who lived to observe a family and has written a great story of this grassroot family (shadow another person. it amazed me. i'd like to try!)
some others
i mean, i mean i bet, these people wouldnt have imagined all these experiences back then, would they?
just so, what would i become?
*4 pages german worksheets - pending
* in 20 minutes im going to sketch a naked man.
dont worry, i only have 1 german class tmr.
wouldnt be too bad if i sleep at 2 tonight
i have tea with me :]
at least little something
have been fairly stressed
wouldnt know why
i mean
i know why
but they shouldnt have been reasons big enough to put my heart in the valley
have i been too sentimental
too emotion
i wouldnt know
i just wouldnt know
i just dont want to know
i just wouldnt want to know
maybe i would want to know
or maybe not
i dont know
annoying
i dont know what i dont know what i know and what i want to or not want to know
super annoying
so there is my genius fracturing my arm.
and there is my retarded skipping and lagging behind in class
maybe i could but i havent even tried to read
ernest, f scott and gertrude
virginia coming up
i know not what im gonna do
i just hated novels for class
they are too long for me
this is an excuse i confess
whatever
i just dont know what would i become after like 5 or 10 or 15 years
would i remember all these?
just after 3 years
i feel like losing all my beloved (adjective, past tense) biology
i mean
i really liked it
but now i can say almost no jargons of the endocrine system
i want my biology back
not sure if it's a waste of time
i mean
what im studying
why mi studying
what for
i told myself i loved literature i loved art
they inspire me
in fact they do
but
so what
in this secular
mudane
carnal
world
how good it is to be inspired?
am i desparate
am i too disappointed
have i been too cynical
have i been too lofty
god damn this whimsical girl who lives on this earth and lives not in this world
goddamn
god forbade!
and you are from hk, this extreme place of practicality
god forbade
and im yelling god forbade when im not that devout and pious
god forbade as a platitude as a goddamn god forbade cliche
how ridiculous
this is a wanton's speech
i sigh
i push my deepest breath of air out of my alveoli!
ay ayy ayyy ayyyy ayyyyy
whatever
no one hears it
so i was saying my broken arm n awful academia
n
granny is hurt
n
im physically distant from my beloved family and friends
n
i cannot concentrate at work
(this is why im typing this)
(this is both the cause n result of all other causes i think - vicious circle)
damn
but i know what i should do
i tell myself to focus on how blessed (too religious a term) or how lucky or how (simply) good things around me are
i do things that make myself FROH
zum Beispiel
stalking catty's blog (Laughing out loud, well it does make me so happy Laughing out loud)
i dont know
stay on pandora radio (that's pandora.com, too bad that it only works in th US), but it's awesome
draw naked people as an escape (i just love drawing, or better say anything involves a pen n a paper that is not writing. no wait, i love writing, but nothing academic)
and cook good food: yes ive been eating so well. i dont have a meal plan but i eat so healthy. i love mushrooms n sweet peppers n veggie n yogurt n chewy oat or granola bars
und so weiter und so weiter.
yes
i make myself pretty happy
but im so eager to know why im doing what im doing in here
i meet great people here
seriously
journalism people
a photographer from reuters who travels the world n followed obama throughout his election
another photographer who took (funny and) serious pictures of bush during his 8 years of presidency
a person from washington post who lived to observe a family and has written a great story of this grassroot family (shadow another person. it amazed me. i'd like to try!)
some others
i mean, i mean i bet, these people wouldnt have imagined all these experiences back then, would they?
just so, what would i become?
*4 pages german worksheets - pending
* in 20 minutes im going to sketch a naked man.
dont worry, i only have 1 german class tmr.
wouldnt be too bad if i sleep at 2 tonight
i have tea with me :]
Mittwoch, 14. Oktober 2009
granny brownie analogy, or, elegy
Water recedes
You see the bottom of the river bank
It’s not the pretty glittering stones that shine the moonlight
Not those ostrich egg like smooth gem stones that slime and slip bare feet
Not those spiny spiky like hostile shells or urchins that make habitat for nemos
But just bare soil
Soil too dry
Loathable brownies
No one wants to eat
Disgust to digest
So mucus moistures
Enables its edibility
Mechanically affectionately
Doesn’t quite work isn’t it
Dry soil grows no tears
A single droplet of dew - I thought it might be
Headache
Fever heat
I put the earthy paste of brownie back into the oven
It warms and heats and –
Dries up even worse
Not true
It’s already at its driest state as can be
It simply feceates
Feceasation
A form of sublimation
By contrast
Reduces every possible on earth
Cyclical
Rejuvenate
Revigorate
Water restores
Returns to planet mother earth the soil
Sail through mists of misery
Woes and trees
Still a piece of dry bread
Unnoticeable crust
Abandoned face
I wait for the heat to recede
I wait for my eye brims to dry
You see the bottom of the river bank
It’s not the pretty glittering stones that shine the moonlight
Not those ostrich egg like smooth gem stones that slime and slip bare feet
Not those spiny spiky like hostile shells or urchins that make habitat for nemos
But just bare soil
Soil too dry
Loathable brownies
No one wants to eat
Disgust to digest
So mucus moistures
Enables its edibility
Mechanically affectionately
Doesn’t quite work isn’t it
Dry soil grows no tears
A single droplet of dew - I thought it might be
Headache
Fever heat
I put the earthy paste of brownie back into the oven
It warms and heats and –
Dries up even worse
Not true
It’s already at its driest state as can be
It simply feceates
Feceasation
A form of sublimation
By contrast
Reduces every possible on earth
Cyclical
Rejuvenate
Revigorate
Water restores
Returns to planet mother earth the soil
Sail through mists of misery
Woes and trees
Still a piece of dry bread
Unnoticeable crust
Abandoned face
I wait for the heat to recede
I wait for my eye brims to dry
Dienstag, 13. Oktober 2009
How would I be mad at you
I was the one who bragged and boasted and spitted
Spilt my bullshit all over
I tainted your face
Foul was my mouth
I loathed my tongue
I hated my teeth
The strong white composition of enamel the least thing I needed
I wished my enamel would become my bones
As breakable
As fragile
As useless
Would then I depend on it no longer
I have no credit
I am a cripple
I am a dumb
I only wanted to trim my thoughts
Crimson were my lips
Crimson was my blood
Nothing at all is rosary
To be appre’d in prayers or hymns
I was the one who bragged and boasted and spitted
Spilt my bullshit all over
I tainted your face
Foul was my mouth
I loathed my tongue
I hated my teeth
The strong white composition of enamel the least thing I needed
I wished my enamel would become my bones
As breakable
As fragile
As useless
Would then I depend on it no longer
I have no credit
I am a cripple
I am a dumb
I only wanted to trim my thoughts
Crimson were my lips
Crimson was my blood
Nothing at all is rosary
To be appre’d in prayers or hymns
Montag, 12. Oktober 2009
Freitag, 2. Oktober 2009
Ich bin ratlos.
Villeicht mag ich nicht den Journalismus.
Ich glaube, dass ich begeistert von dem bin.
Ich glaube, dass ich durstig nach Zeitung zu schreiben.
Ich bin nicht noch neugierig, nicht genug.
Ich lese gern.
Ich schreibe nur meine Meinung gern.
Aber ich schreibe immer nur meine Meinung, sondern nicht Informationen.
Ich kann nicht mit fremden Menschen eine Befragung machen.
Ich bin nicht genug motivieren.
Angst habe ich.
Nervös bin ich.
Ich bin ratlos.
Ich glaube, dass ich begeistert von dem bin.
Ich glaube, dass ich durstig nach Zeitung zu schreiben.
Ich bin nicht noch neugierig, nicht genug.
Ich lese gern.
Ich schreibe nur meine Meinung gern.
Aber ich schreibe immer nur meine Meinung, sondern nicht Informationen.
Ich kann nicht mit fremden Menschen eine Befragung machen.
Ich bin nicht genug motivieren.
Angst habe ich.
Nervös bin ich.
Ich bin ratlos.
Dienstag, 29. September 2009
trespass not
i think i know
has the world changed too much
or am i really the exception
no
no
i think i aint
i believe
deep down in my heart
someone there in my home are the same people
who share the same
the same values
the same people
who enjoy
life
simplicity
nothng complicated
no complications
not flirtations
or
ambiguity
ambivalence applies
not in this
this Begriff.
seriously i do not
i thought
i doubted
had i
been lying
to you and to myself
had i been deceiving
myself
had
the last time crushed me too hard
well
it crushed
a little
i bet
but now im all done
translucent traces remain
but affect not
you see it
but
i dont feel it
not any more
reassurance means
not the opposite
it
is just reassurance
confirmed
and done
smashing
painless
but there's the memory of ache
ache
like a headache
but memory aches no longer
so i substitute love by headache
and i hate panadols
its bitterness
its foreigness to my body
unbearable
love in the narrow sense i mean
i thought about this and that
they make great
potentially great
and of course
potentially trash
but im picky
it's pricky
no one's perfect
but they make great
but me alone make awesome
so i chose to remain sole
awesomely
it's a strange decision
is it not?
but it wise is
i just wish that they will know what i think as well
dont worry
the way i be good
to you
is the way
i feel good about
nowhat that intention
nothing discreet
i just want my friends
how would i become this
i have no idea
friends
im not trespassing
just
dont
you
worry about me
has the world changed too much
or am i really the exception
no
no
i think i aint
i believe
deep down in my heart
someone there in my home are the same people
who share the same
the same values
the same people
who enjoy
life
simplicity
nothng complicated
no complications
not flirtations
or
ambiguity
ambivalence applies
not in this
this Begriff.
seriously i do not
i thought
i doubted
had i
been lying
to you and to myself
had i been deceiving
myself
had
the last time crushed me too hard
well
it crushed
a little
i bet
but now im all done
translucent traces remain
but affect not
you see it
but
i dont feel it
not any more
reassurance means
not the opposite
it
is just reassurance
confirmed
and done
smashing
painless
but there's the memory of ache
ache
like a headache
but memory aches no longer
so i substitute love by headache
and i hate panadols
its bitterness
its foreigness to my body
unbearable
love in the narrow sense i mean
i thought about this and that
they make great
potentially great
and of course
potentially trash
but im picky
it's pricky
no one's perfect
but they make great
but me alone make awesome
so i chose to remain sole
awesomely
it's a strange decision
is it not?
but it wise is
i just wish that they will know what i think as well
dont worry
the way i be good
to you
is the way
i feel good about
nowhat that intention
nothing discreet
i just want my friends
how would i become this
i have no idea
friends
im not trespassing
just
dont
you
worry about me
Samstag, 26. September 2009
Liebe Deutsche
ich bin nicht bereit dazur, ich eine neue Beziehung zu bauen, oder ich einen Mann zu finden.
Es ist ärgerlich.
Ich möchte nur Freundschaften haben.
Ich fühle mich sehr wohl, wenn ich keinen Freund habe.
Ich liebe meine Mitbewohnerin.
Ich dachte dass, ich dich gestörte habe, wenn ich dich für die Hilfe von meiner deutschen Hausaufgabe finde.
Aber jetzt verstehe ich, dass es die besten Art und Weise sind, unsere Beziehung zu aufbauen.
Vielen Dank!
Ich sollte mit mir mehr Deutsch spreche :)
Ich bin begeistert davon, dass ich Heute wie RRRRRRRRRRR auszuspreche!
Es ist ärgerlich.
Ich möchte nur Freundschaften haben.
Ich fühle mich sehr wohl, wenn ich keinen Freund habe.
Ich liebe meine Mitbewohnerin.
Ich dachte dass, ich dich gestörte habe, wenn ich dich für die Hilfe von meiner deutschen Hausaufgabe finde.
Aber jetzt verstehe ich, dass es die besten Art und Weise sind, unsere Beziehung zu aufbauen.
Vielen Dank!
Ich sollte mit mir mehr Deutsch spreche :)
Ich bin begeistert davon, dass ich Heute wie RRRRRRRRRRR auszuspreche!
Sonntag, 20. September 2009
annoying american slangs
Bad - means good, in this era
Blast - great fun
Cool - dismissively
Homie - a great friend
Nerd - bookish
Bromance - not so gay
Tight - real cool
Square - on the same boat
Chillin'
Punk
Crash
Baby Got Back
Daisy Dukes
Check vitals
Killer
Gay
Square
Hairy
Stud
Heavy
The Bomb
Queer
Juice
Sweet
Cougar
Jump the shark
Groovy
Funky
Shootin' Hoop
Old Fogey
The Hood
Perps
Blow
Hangin'
Old Maid
Righteous
Frenemy
Peeps
Soul Patch
well.
Blast - great fun
Cool - dismissively
Homie - a great friend
Nerd - bookish
Bromance - not so gay
Tight - real cool
Square - on the same boat
Chillin'
Punk
Crash
Baby Got Back
Daisy Dukes
Check vitals
Killer
Gay
Square
Hairy
Stud
Heavy
The Bomb
Queer
Juice
Sweet
Cougar
Jump the shark
Groovy
Funky
Shootin' Hoop
Old Fogey
The Hood
Perps
Blow
Hangin'
Old Maid
Righteous
Frenemy
Peeps
Soul Patch
well.
Freitag, 18. September 2009
yell: "this is not my voice"
damit, it has been edited. to cater to american taste.
And this is the least representative picture of Hong Kong. Damit. And I hated the caption.
Mittwoch, 9. September 2009
my gorgeous teachers
Reuters reporter Jon Decker shows his bandaged finger after he was bitten by President George W. Bush's dog Barney at the White House in Washington, November 6, 2008. Decker was treated by the White House physician after the Scottish terrier bit Decker when Decker reached to pet him. REUTERS/Larry Downing (UNITED STATES)
This guy is my Intro to Journal instructor.
He's just charming.
equally adorable is my Eng lit course prof - Prof Wayne Knoll. you just wouldnt believe without actually being in the class, how participative students are...awwwwww. he's such a lovely granddad.
im my public speaking class, the hau tsi ling lei missi - Ms. Roeglin. i just love the way she is - sharp n precise. absolutely smart. you just cannot help enjoying her class.
Meine schoene Deutsche Lehrerin - Frau Banchoff. Ich moechte dass, sie uns vieleVerbesserung haben willt.
God, im excited.
Dienstag, 8. September 2009
Wavy Me
is crushed by the wave from afar
im now all fragmented...
couldnt work
couldn sleep
cause im crushed into nobody
couldnt think
couldnt contemplate
cause there's a beach in my head
this is just too crunchy
this is far too crispy
me the gypsy
i'd rather reside on a vehicle so that i can now start driving back to see you act
i bump into you once and again
and again
i acted
it was all deliberation
it is all predestination
with and withong intention
intense enough the suffocation and stirring up and pan fry and deep fry
frozen me
either it's too hot or too cold
i thought it was fake Idee
foggy thee
the ideal Sie
im now all fragmented...
couldnt work
couldn sleep
cause im crushed into nobody
couldnt think
couldnt contemplate
cause there's a beach in my head
this is just too crunchy
this is far too crispy
me the gypsy
i'd rather reside on a vehicle so that i can now start driving back to see you act
i bump into you once and again
and again
i acted
it was all deliberation
it is all predestination
with and withong intention
intense enough the suffocation and stirring up and pan fry and deep fry
frozen me
either it's too hot or too cold
i thought it was fake Idee
foggy thee
the ideal Sie
Dienstag, 1. September 2009
dystopia: after a quarter century.
you wouldnt believe this but
i was so absorbed
i actually feel that someone's glances n glimpses all along
my adrenaline rushes
it surges
my brain, flooded
i faint
i die
termination
complete halt with no resurrection in any form
it aint explicit
but
intense
i said you wouldnt believe
you dont even understand
Sie verstehen nicht.
Sie weiss nicht
Nie. Null.
Orwell beats.
Winston Smith is me.
Big Brother is alive n well.
in a room of walls of telescreen
dammit who holds Truth? Unpersons.
corpses aint cops
corpses aint cops
Samstag, 22. August 2009
sentimentality
i thought i was rational
i thought i kept holding back my emotion
lest it flooded and made me as dumb
as insensible
as impossible
as implausible
as common
as inefficient
as stupid
was cold
was steel
was ice
was iceberg yet to be drilled
it bled
but i was wrong
i was like holding up just this fake label
trying to steer myself
and i was not quite so
i was sentimental
just suffered from days of low mood
and sadness from nowhere
was like haunted
by a mysterious force i found strange
found stray
perhaps it just came home
the return
the exhausting reunion
the perspiring spirit
sweated and roared
i died each time and i thought i resurrected
but i was still the old me
and i was sentimental
surpassing all others
low tide comes and goes
regardless
it's natural.
i thought i kept holding back my emotion
lest it flooded and made me as dumb
as insensible
as impossible
as implausible
as common
as inefficient
as stupid
was cold
was steel
was ice
was iceberg yet to be drilled
it bled
but i was wrong
i was like holding up just this fake label
trying to steer myself
and i was not quite so
i was sentimental
just suffered from days of low mood
and sadness from nowhere
was like haunted
by a mysterious force i found strange
found stray
perhaps it just came home
the return
the exhausting reunion
the perspiring spirit
sweated and roared
i died each time and i thought i resurrected
but i was still the old me
and i was sentimental
surpassing all others
low tide comes and goes
regardless
it's natural.
Mittwoch, 19. August 2009
hauled
dear
i felt that you have put me in your heart
and for that my tears would flow
for that simple reason
my soul floods with tears and dews
i torn the papers up
flung them in mid air
they floated like petals
they flew like ashes
covered in soil
covered in memorial
would you remember me?
i felt that you have put me in your heart
and for that my tears would flow
for that simple reason
my soul floods with tears and dews
i torn the papers up
flung them in mid air
they floated like petals
they flew like ashes
covered in soil
covered in memorial
would you remember me?
Freitag, 14. August 2009
a poem of unity
wake up in the morning
saw your twittering eyelids
then on i cooked breakfast
for you and for me
jiaozi
we went out
for a relaxed wander
we talked of this and that
margaret and william
samuel and john
oh how i loved them
oh how i loved to hear them from you
how you pardoned my silly chatty
one morning was not enough of course
but we saved if for immensity
time and thoughts
arriving at the park
we sat down
you sketched
i watched you sketched
i sketched
you furbished my picture
you held the board
i held the pens
felt better than taking pictures
we both loved drawing trees
we watched as we drew
we meditated while we composed
you gave a line
i gave another
alternately we merged
not quite what i wanted
neither was yours
we wrote separately
a silent reclination of one and two
reclined and thought
a retreat
only brought together again as we found two poems of the same idea
the two of us together
we treaded home
could not help singing along the way
singing out poem aloud
to have fun
to enjoy
to infect
arriving at home i wanted to read
holding a book you had written
an adaptation of william
the play you had written
a winter's tale in summer
you put on the dvd
shown on the big screen a play out of your play
you made it into a movie
i directed it
i heard your voice
ready to melt into a splash of water
splashing excitment
tired and wanted to sleep
waken by your song
not sung but played
you were sitting playing the Klavier
the whatever song i knew not knew only to be brought away by the musical notes
my thought flew with yours to the clouds miles away
felt like in heaven if not a drama if not the utopia if not eden if not a world of us twindled
what an imagery
too unreal indeed surreal though it was real
you were play that
while my eye could not help fixed on your posture
i loved watching you
just sit
i love watching you
just you
on top of the Klavier the ballet dancer danced
sculptur of edgar degas
not the real one for sure
but we made in in last summer
together by woods by strings by paints by hand
by love
our present our future
the child held and gripped in her hand
i slept in your arms again
the wool knit was warm
your body smelled of fresh sweat
patted to wake
now i was energised to go star gazing
we went to uc lawn
lights were off especially for us
oh
i remembed seeing these trees
tall or short
bald on top
oh i remembered seeing you ran
seeing you drew
watching you did whatever
that absorbed me
you absorb me
you occupy me
star shone and shotted
flew over and we were embracing in tears
and i read for us a poem of unity
saw your twittering eyelids
then on i cooked breakfast
for you and for me
jiaozi
we went out
for a relaxed wander
we talked of this and that
margaret and william
samuel and john
oh how i loved them
oh how i loved to hear them from you
how you pardoned my silly chatty
one morning was not enough of course
but we saved if for immensity
time and thoughts
arriving at the park
we sat down
you sketched
i watched you sketched
i sketched
you furbished my picture
you held the board
i held the pens
felt better than taking pictures
we both loved drawing trees
we watched as we drew
we meditated while we composed
you gave a line
i gave another
alternately we merged
not quite what i wanted
neither was yours
we wrote separately
a silent reclination of one and two
reclined and thought
a retreat
only brought together again as we found two poems of the same idea
the two of us together
we treaded home
could not help singing along the way
singing out poem aloud
to have fun
to enjoy
to infect
arriving at home i wanted to read
holding a book you had written
an adaptation of william
the play you had written
a winter's tale in summer
you put on the dvd
shown on the big screen a play out of your play
you made it into a movie
i directed it
i heard your voice
ready to melt into a splash of water
splashing excitment
tired and wanted to sleep
waken by your song
not sung but played
you were sitting playing the Klavier
the whatever song i knew not knew only to be brought away by the musical notes
my thought flew with yours to the clouds miles away
felt like in heaven if not a drama if not the utopia if not eden if not a world of us twindled
what an imagery
too unreal indeed surreal though it was real
you were play that
while my eye could not help fixed on your posture
i loved watching you
just sit
i love watching you
just you
on top of the Klavier the ballet dancer danced
sculptur of edgar degas
not the real one for sure
but we made in in last summer
together by woods by strings by paints by hand
by love
our present our future
the child held and gripped in her hand
i slept in your arms again
the wool knit was warm
your body smelled of fresh sweat
patted to wake
now i was energised to go star gazing
we went to uc lawn
lights were off especially for us
oh
i remembed seeing these trees
tall or short
bald on top
oh i remembered seeing you ran
seeing you drew
watching you did whatever
that absorbed me
you absorb me
you occupy me
star shone and shotted
flew over and we were embracing in tears
and i read for us a poem of unity
Montag, 10. August 2009
2 short songs
The grand the great
keep away from silly accidents that may harm you in any way
your skull may not be as hard as i thought a skull should be
your knuckles and knees your elbows your ankles may twist in any surprising way that no one ever pictures
your bones, as fragile, readily breakable once bombarded by anything, hard of softness
spine, if bent, pains you of the level you cannot withstand im sure
by then you will say you are ready to die
or that you indeed prefer dying to living
or that you have already been granted extra years
bullshit
who decides
just go on live your life
remember me and live your wish
remember to eat
remember to pause and nap
Favourite destination
i thought i hated you
you are as extravagant as arrogant as impossible as possible
you are difficult to conquer that your conquerors die of conquering you
the women that live in you perhaps
the comfort you let they indulge too hard too bad
dirty roads filthy streets beggars not on avenues
they are artists artistic shops and stores
stalls for the common shops for the rich
the gold finger you possess turn bad things into gold the thing you uphold
attitude
the liberty of people to live the way they want
the air of freedom i forcefully and painfully inhaled
and i fainted
it was like chloroform
the fragrance
your symbol
the arcs
your triumph
the tower
your trophy of ace
the best museums
the display room of your concrete talent
not boastful you then can claim
i thought i liked your foe
just then i found the inadequacies of that gent'
always have personalised him as a noble you as a whore
well, not quite so any more
he still as a kind, but not as charming as i thought he could be
you are still alluring, not in too bad a way that i would resist
why dont the two of you unite?
you have you wits, p of france
well i like a place when i have good companions to travel with.
so last time i found a new face of p.
keep away from silly accidents that may harm you in any way
your skull may not be as hard as i thought a skull should be
your knuckles and knees your elbows your ankles may twist in any surprising way that no one ever pictures
your bones, as fragile, readily breakable once bombarded by anything, hard of softness
spine, if bent, pains you of the level you cannot withstand im sure
by then you will say you are ready to die
or that you indeed prefer dying to living
or that you have already been granted extra years
bullshit
who decides
just go on live your life
remember me and live your wish
remember to eat
remember to pause and nap
Favourite destination
i thought i hated you
you are as extravagant as arrogant as impossible as possible
you are difficult to conquer that your conquerors die of conquering you
the women that live in you perhaps
the comfort you let they indulge too hard too bad
dirty roads filthy streets beggars not on avenues
they are artists artistic shops and stores
stalls for the common shops for the rich
the gold finger you possess turn bad things into gold the thing you uphold
attitude
the liberty of people to live the way they want
the air of freedom i forcefully and painfully inhaled
and i fainted
it was like chloroform
the fragrance
your symbol
the arcs
your triumph
the tower
your trophy of ace
the best museums
the display room of your concrete talent
not boastful you then can claim
i thought i liked your foe
just then i found the inadequacies of that gent'
always have personalised him as a noble you as a whore
well, not quite so any more
he still as a kind, but not as charming as i thought he could be
you are still alluring, not in too bad a way that i would resist
why dont the two of you unite?
you have you wits, p of france
well i like a place when i have good companions to travel with.
so last time i found a new face of p.
Samstag, 8. August 2009
meeting fluffy
the horse raced throught the forest as usual
it expected to see nothing special nothing interesting
it said to itself, another day of boredom and rountine
it ran really fast
perhaps there were interesting things to see
just that it has been running too fast that it could not have noticed anything at all
the sunshine, the shadow, the sweet grass, the broad leaf
what once interested the horse now seemed nothing to it
at times it got tired and needed water
it went to the river and bowed to drink
at such moments of its slowing down it reflected, a bit
it thought of its peers
it saw in its mind their smiley faces
couldnt quite make out what would make them happy
nothing worth my leap at heart, it thought to itself
instead of a leap at heart, it lifted its head, wanting to show a face of complexion
well still it wanted to look cool
while it was slowly raising its head turning its neck
it glimsed a white thing right opposite to the river
is it a cloud? it asked itself
it was a white fluffy thing
it is a cloud, it asserted
or is it marsh mellow, or cotton, or...well it was not so assertive though
suddenly it saw the fluffy thing move
from afar toward the river, coming closer to the horse
stopped again, become again a steady fluffy UFO by the river
hey, the horse shouted, not sure it the thing had ears, or would understand a horse's language
HEY, it shouted again, more strenuously though of similar loudness
the fluffy thing shook, and the hope white thing become a bit taller
oh
so it was a sheep
the horse thought that it was stupid of him to have wasted so much time on a lower sheep and went away
on the way to the wherever destination, it walked
highlighted was its slow pace
it could not run
why couldnt i run, it asked itself, not expecting an answer
its mind was occupied
but the white fluffy sheep ofcourse
the sheep had become a marshmellow, which sweetness and softness had melted the horse
it was animal's love at first sight
and the horse still could not comprehend this feeling yet
well, or perhaps it was reluctant to admit
its being so human so fragile so easily impressed
by just the looking of a thing
it said that it was superficial
but it was true love indeed
it just did not know it yet at the moment
horse was so immerged in his own puzzlement, or dream that
it did not hear the footsteps from behind
bump!
an accident occured
the two animals crashed but horse did not get hurt
the thing it crashed with was too soft too protective
it was the fluffy cotton marshmellow sheep
the sheep bled though
staining the wool bright bloody red
the colour of roses
the colour of fire
from the colour of the blood the horse knoew that the sheep was very healthy
it flowed the rosy blood not stale or blood of deep red
well oxygenated
the horse thought to itself, still not smart enough to take care of the sheep yet
the read sheep was mourning
horse heard its cry and licked the wool
yuck
it did not feel like sugary marshmellow at all
but stuffing cotton into one's mouth
difficult and made it want to throw up
it coughed
it wanted to treat sheep another way but it could not quite thought of another way
when it maintained its shape as a horse
so it ran away
to the telebox and BLINK!
turned into a human
running back to the venue of accident it thought of all the possibility of how sheep would view it
it did not know that it had overthought
cause fluffy had already gone by the time it arrived
the man was dissappointed
the man thought that sheep could only recognise it when it was in the form of a horse so it walked back to the telebox and turned itself back
it hoped that it will meet the sheep again tomorrow
perhaps by the river
it hoped that the sheep had treated itself well
no infection of wounds, had not twisted its angles its knees its knuckles its neck or whatever
it knew that it was forceful and strong
perhaps rude
(to be continued)
it expected to see nothing special nothing interesting
it said to itself, another day of boredom and rountine
it ran really fast
perhaps there were interesting things to see
just that it has been running too fast that it could not have noticed anything at all
the sunshine, the shadow, the sweet grass, the broad leaf
what once interested the horse now seemed nothing to it
at times it got tired and needed water
it went to the river and bowed to drink
at such moments of its slowing down it reflected, a bit
it thought of its peers
it saw in its mind their smiley faces
couldnt quite make out what would make them happy
nothing worth my leap at heart, it thought to itself
instead of a leap at heart, it lifted its head, wanting to show a face of complexion
well still it wanted to look cool
while it was slowly raising its head turning its neck
it glimsed a white thing right opposite to the river
is it a cloud? it asked itself
it was a white fluffy thing
it is a cloud, it asserted
or is it marsh mellow, or cotton, or...well it was not so assertive though
suddenly it saw the fluffy thing move
from afar toward the river, coming closer to the horse
stopped again, become again a steady fluffy UFO by the river
hey, the horse shouted, not sure it the thing had ears, or would understand a horse's language
HEY, it shouted again, more strenuously though of similar loudness
the fluffy thing shook, and the hope white thing become a bit taller
oh
so it was a sheep
the horse thought that it was stupid of him to have wasted so much time on a lower sheep and went away
on the way to the wherever destination, it walked
highlighted was its slow pace
it could not run
why couldnt i run, it asked itself, not expecting an answer
its mind was occupied
but the white fluffy sheep ofcourse
the sheep had become a marshmellow, which sweetness and softness had melted the horse
it was animal's love at first sight
and the horse still could not comprehend this feeling yet
well, or perhaps it was reluctant to admit
its being so human so fragile so easily impressed
by just the looking of a thing
it said that it was superficial
but it was true love indeed
it just did not know it yet at the moment
horse was so immerged in his own puzzlement, or dream that
it did not hear the footsteps from behind
bump!
an accident occured
the two animals crashed but horse did not get hurt
the thing it crashed with was too soft too protective
it was the fluffy cotton marshmellow sheep
the sheep bled though
staining the wool bright bloody red
the colour of roses
the colour of fire
from the colour of the blood the horse knoew that the sheep was very healthy
it flowed the rosy blood not stale or blood of deep red
well oxygenated
the horse thought to itself, still not smart enough to take care of the sheep yet
the read sheep was mourning
horse heard its cry and licked the wool
yuck
it did not feel like sugary marshmellow at all
but stuffing cotton into one's mouth
difficult and made it want to throw up
it coughed
it wanted to treat sheep another way but it could not quite thought of another way
when it maintained its shape as a horse
so it ran away
to the telebox and BLINK!
turned into a human
running back to the venue of accident it thought of all the possibility of how sheep would view it
it did not know that it had overthought
cause fluffy had already gone by the time it arrived
the man was dissappointed
the man thought that sheep could only recognise it when it was in the form of a horse so it walked back to the telebox and turned itself back
it hoped that it will meet the sheep again tomorrow
perhaps by the river
it hoped that the sheep had treated itself well
no infection of wounds, had not twisted its angles its knees its knuckles its neck or whatever
it knew that it was forceful and strong
perhaps rude
(to be continued)
Freitag, 7. August 2009
flare and fair of books
when i tell you that i've finished a book
bother not saying that i read fast or oh how ging i am
i'll never know how to respond the way you want
grab and read the book
challenge what i think about the book
when i get you a book as a gift
dont say that you dont read you wont read you dont have the time to
i dont mind you spending one whole month reading just a page
just start it
when you hate it, drop it
so at least you've tried
when i buy many books at a time
dont say that i wont have the time for them
i do read the books i buy
i count my money every time i spend on books so i treasure them a lot
get to the books on your shelf
view them if not read them
when i buy books of themes you dont like
dont worry that im going against you way
i have never agreed to go your way
i have to know different ways in order to build my own
imprison yourself if you find the cell a cozier place than this dimensional real world
bold but silent books but timid but noisy people
shut up
zip up
bother not saying that i read fast or oh how ging i am
i'll never know how to respond the way you want
grab and read the book
challenge what i think about the book
when i get you a book as a gift
dont say that you dont read you wont read you dont have the time to
i dont mind you spending one whole month reading just a page
just start it
when you hate it, drop it
so at least you've tried
when i buy many books at a time
dont say that i wont have the time for them
i do read the books i buy
i count my money every time i spend on books so i treasure them a lot
get to the books on your shelf
view them if not read them
when i buy books of themes you dont like
dont worry that im going against you way
i have never agreed to go your way
i have to know different ways in order to build my own
imprison yourself if you find the cell a cozier place than this dimensional real world
bold but silent books but timid but noisy people
shut up
zip up
Mittwoch, 5. August 2009
the irony of extravagant consumption
Miss the time when I divide the screen and type while doing research
I was so into it
Love being hundred and ten percent concentrative into something
Even if it’s difficult
Even if I have no clue of what to do
Even if I risk scoring low
I work
Now feel like doing nothing wasting time
Know nowhere to position myself
Consumed by nothingness
The most brutal exhaustion
Dizzy
Dirty
Filthy
Disgusting
Getting lost in time
In holiday while I have no concept of time.
And im leaving so soon
Give me up
I was so into it
Love being hundred and ten percent concentrative into something
Even if it’s difficult
Even if I have no clue of what to do
Even if I risk scoring low
I work
Now feel like doing nothing wasting time
Know nowhere to position myself
Consumed by nothingness
The most brutal exhaustion
Dizzy
Dirty
Filthy
Disgusting
Getting lost in time
In holiday while I have no concept of time.
And im leaving so soon
Give me up
Donnerstag, 23. Juli 2009
hogwartic thoughts
had i been too easily impressed
or had you been too deliberate you scumbag
you manipulator
conspired with them the teasers
me carefully torn apart
broken apart
not quite a liar
just that you are not sincere
not quite a praiser
just that you are being indirect
perhaps you are a sweetheart undercover
nicknamed temptor
who oilbath and sugarcoat
whatever you say
whoever you treat
butter - y
fly
well butterfly and fly
can be hard to distinguish at times
wonder why a butter-fly makes a butterfly
puke
and flew and flu can be hard to distinguish
you flew me floated me suspended me in midair
i felt like riding high
you flu you fool you infected me sneezed and coughed at me that now i felt sick
you take the responsibility you scrounger
rob me my calmness my quietness my peacefulness
that now my world is landfilled with your noise
the music the noise
the music of noise
molten
oh god i am the molten mole
the couching undercover
the hibernating mole
hedgehogs
squirrels
hogs
frogs
pets of messengers
i thought i lived in hogwarts
or had you been too deliberate you scumbag
you manipulator
conspired with them the teasers
me carefully torn apart
broken apart
not quite a liar
just that you are not sincere
not quite a praiser
just that you are being indirect
perhaps you are a sweetheart undercover
nicknamed temptor
who oilbath and sugarcoat
whatever you say
whoever you treat
butter - y
fly
well butterfly and fly
can be hard to distinguish at times
wonder why a butter-fly makes a butterfly
puke
and flew and flu can be hard to distinguish
you flew me floated me suspended me in midair
i felt like riding high
you flu you fool you infected me sneezed and coughed at me that now i felt sick
you take the responsibility you scrounger
rob me my calmness my quietness my peacefulness
that now my world is landfilled with your noise
the music the noise
the music of noise
molten
oh god i am the molten mole
the couching undercover
the hibernating mole
hedgehogs
squirrels
hogs
frogs
pets of messengers
i thought i lived in hogwarts
Dienstag, 21. Juli 2009
delusions
irrational illusions
impossible elusions
no one has ever illustrated
she whispered to herself
but she knew at heart
at heart too well too clear what the truth was
just that she was reluctant to believe
no one ever succeeds without paying painstaking effort
luck
goes only to those who deserves it
she thought of the sheaves of grains
the picture of her collecting the harvest
the so-called grass
she raised the sickle
a follow-through action
chap chop
she almost hurt her leg
she perspired
she felt the strenuous pulse on her left chest
shaking her from inside the rib cage
she could have fainted
strongly shaken
beaten
just that she was reluctant to submit
thought that it would consume her too much
she thought she might regret
just that she was reluctant
she sighed
she exhaled
she halted for a while
just a brief while
she knew she could waste not a single minute more
she could not afford to lose time
she could not afford to lose half a head's distance
she glimpsed the behind of the steed
the chocolate bundle swinging leftand immediately right
the pendulum that sounded not tick tock but bump bump
echoed her heartbeat
'systole and diastole'
she murmured to her soul
babbabbabbabbabbabbabbabbabbabbabbabbabbabbab
or was it the steps?
the stedfast belief still lingered
that kept her head unclear
she could not concentrate on the match
she thought she was being too theoretical
being too conscious that she could not actually live her life
she knew how to live her life
she could not live the way she knew and she wanted
she fell over
her back closer to the ground then any of her limps
she and her horse made a perfect symmetrical image
she feared not of becoming hurt
was thinking how the cluster of people there on the seats viewed her
do they see me fall?
then do they miss the steed champ crossing the line?
she also thought of the champ rider
is he looking overwatching over?
will he ever miss
and get off mind
his track the race the cup and medal the money?
perhaps then she would win
possibly
unlikely
still not quite concentrative
this girl knew she had to stay focus in order to achieve what she wanted
just that she did not have the courage to focus
she feared of this one big bet
she was still reluctant
she knew it
she hated it
she went off mind
she was all messy
at all a shit
impossible elusions
no one has ever illustrated
she whispered to herself
but she knew at heart
at heart too well too clear what the truth was
just that she was reluctant to believe
no one ever succeeds without paying painstaking effort
luck
goes only to those who deserves it
she thought of the sheaves of grains
the picture of her collecting the harvest
the so-called grass
she raised the sickle
a follow-through action
chap chop
she almost hurt her leg
she perspired
she felt the strenuous pulse on her left chest
shaking her from inside the rib cage
she could have fainted
strongly shaken
beaten
just that she was reluctant to submit
thought that it would consume her too much
she thought she might regret
just that she was reluctant
she sighed
she exhaled
she halted for a while
just a brief while
she knew she could waste not a single minute more
she could not afford to lose time
she could not afford to lose half a head's distance
she glimpsed the behind of the steed
the chocolate bundle swinging leftand immediately right
the pendulum that sounded not tick tock but bump bump
echoed her heartbeat
'systole and diastole'
she murmured to her soul
babbabbabbabbabbabbabbabbabbabbabbabbabbabbab
or was it the steps?
the stedfast belief still lingered
that kept her head unclear
she could not concentrate on the match
she thought she was being too theoretical
being too conscious that she could not actually live her life
she knew how to live her life
she could not live the way she knew and she wanted
she fell over
her back closer to the ground then any of her limps
she and her horse made a perfect symmetrical image
she feared not of becoming hurt
was thinking how the cluster of people there on the seats viewed her
do they see me fall?
then do they miss the steed champ crossing the line?
she also thought of the champ rider
is he looking overwatching over?
will he ever miss
and get off mind
his track the race the cup and medal the money?
perhaps then she would win
possibly
unlikely
still not quite concentrative
this girl knew she had to stay focus in order to achieve what she wanted
just that she did not have the courage to focus
she feared of this one big bet
she was still reluctant
she knew it
she hated it
she went off mind
she was all messy
at all a shit
Mittwoch, 15. Juli 2009
坐村車狂想 + Cicadas' music
又想大小人經歷互換配對
黃昏坐村車歸村
人很多
迫與兩名大淑女同坐
香肩並擠
嗅得出二人未有落落灑噴露華濃
親近如此右方手抱香奈兒袋的她在高調偷讀吾脾上的煉金書
忽發其想若我此刻開口攀談
聊書聊車聊個天南地北
君卿與我成友?
不唐突不絕不唐突
兒時人人都做這種浪漫事
非進取也非抱壞心腸
順粹交友
憑書交友
以口水會友
自然不過你我也做過在溫馨校巴上與鄰座可愛小男孩小女生傾一程
或然手搶他指上薯圈 (草青色包裝袋)
或然禮貌問句'食丫'再挾他吃我媽送我用以賄賂利誘交朋友用的可樂樽可樂味可口可樂橡皮糖
吃得不可開交
耍個不亦樂乎
保童心
朋友豈有交不成之理?
村車變身校巴之胡思迷想
The Music of Cicadas
I was shot
the rifle backfired not
the perhaps revolver trembled
bullets mercilessly scratched my face in the air
bab bab bab bab
lest you wouldn't be killed
4 babs in 1 sec
i heard 3 rhythms of the cicadas
thought if they were indeed conversing
if courting
or arguing
if not debating
not quite like noises
though
the kitchen fan from afar
it mourned
rather disturbingly
it was the ultimate oily ugly machinery
disturbed my cochlea
my vestibule hurts
canals carried impossibly any longer gondolas
it flipped and flopped and wusp.
the snail the cochlea in summer air was too vulnerable
little animals sneaked out not in august
they paraded
hatefully boldly
coolness intruders
hop i found myself wandering
Wu-Si-Luen-Sheung-ing
thought that it kinda fun to marry to a mr. Wu
my son would be named Wu-Si-Luen
laugh die readers
laugh die your belly
黃昏坐村車歸村
人很多
迫與兩名大淑女同坐
香肩並擠
嗅得出二人未有落落灑噴露華濃
親近如此右方手抱香奈兒袋的她在高調偷讀吾脾上的煉金書
忽發其想若我此刻開口攀談
聊書聊車聊個天南地北
君卿與我成友?
不唐突不絕不唐突
兒時人人都做這種浪漫事
非進取也非抱壞心腸
順粹交友
憑書交友
以口水會友
自然不過你我也做過在溫馨校巴上與鄰座可愛小男孩小女生傾一程
或然手搶他指上薯圈 (草青色包裝袋)
或然禮貌問句'食丫'再挾他吃我媽送我用以賄賂利誘交朋友用的可樂樽可樂味可口可樂橡皮糖
吃得不可開交
耍個不亦樂乎
保童心
朋友豈有交不成之理?
村車變身校巴之胡思迷想
The Music of Cicadas
I was shot
the rifle backfired not
the perhaps revolver trembled
bullets mercilessly scratched my face in the air
bab bab bab bab
lest you wouldn't be killed
4 babs in 1 sec
i heard 3 rhythms of the cicadas
thought if they were indeed conversing
if courting
or arguing
if not debating
not quite like noises
though
the kitchen fan from afar
it mourned
rather disturbingly
it was the ultimate oily ugly machinery
disturbed my cochlea
my vestibule hurts
canals carried impossibly any longer gondolas
it flipped and flopped and wusp.
the snail the cochlea in summer air was too vulnerable
little animals sneaked out not in august
they paraded
hatefully boldly
coolness intruders
hop i found myself wandering
Wu-Si-Luen-Sheung-ing
thought that it kinda fun to marry to a mr. Wu
my son would be named Wu-Si-Luen
laugh die readers
laugh die your belly
Sonntag, 5. Juli 2009
我是異族? am i an alien?
與人相交相處的藝術上了二十年有多的課
i have learnt the art of meeting people for over 20 years
掌握不到
it's yet to be mastered
懷疑自己會有可能掌握得到
wonder if i will ever possibly master it one day
總自覺是外星人
thought my being an extra-terrestrial being
就是認為自己是一個絕對獨立與人隔離的奇異個體
thought that im a wholly independent isolated strange unity
與別不同的腦構造
with a distinct brain composition
獨一無二的邏輯系統
a unique logical mechanism
也不準確
and it's still not the accurate scenario
其實以為自持的才是王道
indeed i thought what i am should rule and is the righteous authority
其他所有人不理解不認同自己的方是蠻夷
all others who understand not empathize not are the pathetic aliens
自命與別不同
thought that i'm the one and only
其實自視過高
it's loftiness i have to however admit
也有聽過人皆自戀的說法
have also heard about universal narcissism
也許我所行所為也合理的吧
perhaps it rationalizes what i have been the way i behave
幼時固執不已
i was an obstinate kid
常聽母親喃喃覆述
mum often repeats a story of my childhood
我曾在車子死火時又叫又喊大吵要揭起母親的連身裙
that i cried and shouted to lift her dress while the car was broken down on the road
氣得她死去活來
she was so irritated almost went mad in face of her impossible kid
我也當記得多次因她簽字條出界而怒把字條撕碎的片段
and i could recall pictures of my tearing the parent letters for she had signed out of the boundary 更有把被爺爺稱讚我的成績時所噴出的口沬所沾濕的成績單擦破擦黑的回憶
as well as my rubbing to wear and blanken my report card cause my grandpa accidentally spit on it when he was praising my grades
頑固是我的代號
obstinacy was my name
自我是我的作風
self-centred was me
我多次被罵不尊重長輩並目中無人
repeated i was reproved for living in my sole world and not respecting others
不錯我認為長輩做錯事後輩不需顧及陳腐長幼之別倒應直斥其非
right i thought we ought to criticise even the seniors and ignore the corny belief of always revering the elderly
面子是中國傳統文化的迂腐產物
face is the stale product of old chinese culture
姐卻道那是人情世故
and my sis said that it's human traditions, the world simply works this way
經過多年被罵跌撞
passed were the years i got scolded and i tumbled and bruised myself again and again
時至今天我大慨得罪較少人了
now i bet i offend less
只是其實有時心裡其時仍有不解不服不舒暢
just that at times i still find people insensible and felt unjust
自覺他錯我對而稍有串嘴挑釁
thought that he is wrong and i am right and my anger and heart to correct are provoked that i want to aggress the wrongdoer
唉其實誰是誰非也非由我下判斷
ay is me it's not me who judges
忍一忍或有海闊天空藍天白雲綠野田園
well leaving my temper aside may liberates me
奇異種子的遙遙成長路
the growth of me the exotic alien seed
活著的藝術有待掌握
the arts of life yet to be mastered
i have learnt the art of meeting people for over 20 years
掌握不到
it's yet to be mastered
懷疑自己會有可能掌握得到
wonder if i will ever possibly master it one day
總自覺是外星人
thought my being an extra-terrestrial being
就是認為自己是一個絕對獨立與人隔離的奇異個體
thought that im a wholly independent isolated strange unity
與別不同的腦構造
with a distinct brain composition
獨一無二的邏輯系統
a unique logical mechanism
也不準確
and it's still not the accurate scenario
其實以為自持的才是王道
indeed i thought what i am should rule and is the righteous authority
其他所有人不理解不認同自己的方是蠻夷
all others who understand not empathize not are the pathetic aliens
自命與別不同
thought that i'm the one and only
其實自視過高
it's loftiness i have to however admit
也有聽過人皆自戀的說法
have also heard about universal narcissism
也許我所行所為也合理的吧
perhaps it rationalizes what i have been the way i behave
幼時固執不已
i was an obstinate kid
常聽母親喃喃覆述
mum often repeats a story of my childhood
我曾在車子死火時又叫又喊大吵要揭起母親的連身裙
that i cried and shouted to lift her dress while the car was broken down on the road
氣得她死去活來
she was so irritated almost went mad in face of her impossible kid
我也當記得多次因她簽字條出界而怒把字條撕碎的片段
and i could recall pictures of my tearing the parent letters for she had signed out of the boundary 更有把被爺爺稱讚我的成績時所噴出的口沬所沾濕的成績單擦破擦黑的回憶
as well as my rubbing to wear and blanken my report card cause my grandpa accidentally spit on it when he was praising my grades
頑固是我的代號
obstinacy was my name
自我是我的作風
self-centred was me
我多次被罵不尊重長輩並目中無人
repeated i was reproved for living in my sole world and not respecting others
不錯我認為長輩做錯事後輩不需顧及陳腐長幼之別倒應直斥其非
right i thought we ought to criticise even the seniors and ignore the corny belief of always revering the elderly
面子是中國傳統文化的迂腐產物
face is the stale product of old chinese culture
姐卻道那是人情世故
and my sis said that it's human traditions, the world simply works this way
經過多年被罵跌撞
passed were the years i got scolded and i tumbled and bruised myself again and again
時至今天我大慨得罪較少人了
now i bet i offend less
只是其實有時心裡其時仍有不解不服不舒暢
just that at times i still find people insensible and felt unjust
自覺他錯我對而稍有串嘴挑釁
thought that he is wrong and i am right and my anger and heart to correct are provoked that i want to aggress the wrongdoer
唉其實誰是誰非也非由我下判斷
ay is me it's not me who judges
忍一忍或有海闊天空藍天白雲綠野田園
well leaving my temper aside may liberates me
奇異種子的遙遙成長路
the growth of me the exotic alien seed
活著的藝術有待掌握
the arts of life yet to be mastered
Samstag, 4. Juli 2009
christopher in me (book review)
if you have read the book.
i thought i was him.
the more i read
the more i'm scared, shocked
humiliated
not that i thought christopher not a good boy
but was surprised by how much i resembled him
did i have his mentality,
and how people viewed me?
the self-centred the arrogant 'the unt and shut and gut the kut' stubborn bad-mannered untaught uncivilised goddamn jerkhead spoilt kid
yea i was the stubborn
the claim-to-be-rational
the want-to-be-scientific
i cared not human care not emotions
treaured not human relations
well yea treasured not family and friends
i looked into maths and science and rations and rules
i wanted to be a scientist
i comprehended understood not why the hell did people went irrational
why did they conform not the rules and worked their own wrong way wasted their lives yet being stupid hell i hated stupidity
and i turned against them for they had gone MAD
was like in an isolated alien world
but simply the act of turning my back have shown my being emotional
have shown my being non-robotic
Confession of christopher
i was and i am and i will forever be a fleshy human
i touched my skin i caressed myself i felt like a spiritual man
i experienced highness ecstacy excitedness wilderness calmness and joy
i have been impressed touched saddened irritated humiliated
still i comprehend not why men on earth become the way they are
and i become the way i could not understand why i would have then become
was there an invisible power a being controlling being a mastermind playing on us being a control freak am i if not i aint a puppet the doll dancing singing on his stage for his entertainment?
im nothing robotic
there're never absolute rules (except this)
think that i still possess christopher inside.
contradiction
mystery
i thought i was him.
the more i read
the more i'm scared, shocked
humiliated
not that i thought christopher not a good boy
but was surprised by how much i resembled him
did i have his mentality,
and how people viewed me?
the self-centred the arrogant 'the unt and shut and gut the kut' stubborn bad-mannered untaught uncivilised goddamn jerkhead spoilt kid
yea i was the stubborn
the claim-to-be-rational
the want-to-be-scientific
i cared not human care not emotions
treaured not human relations
well yea treasured not family and friends
i looked into maths and science and rations and rules
i wanted to be a scientist
i comprehended understood not why the hell did people went irrational
why did they conform not the rules and worked their own wrong way wasted their lives yet being stupid hell i hated stupidity
and i turned against them for they had gone MAD
was like in an isolated alien world
but simply the act of turning my back have shown my being emotional
have shown my being non-robotic
Confession of christopher
i was and i am and i will forever be a fleshy human
i touched my skin i caressed myself i felt like a spiritual man
i experienced highness ecstacy excitedness wilderness calmness and joy
i have been impressed touched saddened irritated humiliated
still i comprehend not why men on earth become the way they are
and i become the way i could not understand why i would have then become
was there an invisible power a being controlling being a mastermind playing on us being a control freak am i if not i aint a puppet the doll dancing singing on his stage for his entertainment?
im nothing robotic
there're never absolute rules (except this)
think that i still possess christopher inside.
contradiction
mystery
Freitag, 19. Juni 2009
primary arts
so i tried to clean up my room today.
in my wardrobe i find these arts of which i produced when i was a p5-6 pupil at cwk.
and i think i was copying forever friends
and i dont think i can write the word 'liu' now
and i lived in the blg on the upper left corner in TW
and i was stubborn and liked symmetry and circles a lot
in my wardrobe i find these arts of which i produced when i was a p5-6 pupil at cwk.
and i think i was copying forever friends
and i dont think i can write the word 'liu' now
and i lived in the blg on the upper left corner in TW
and i was stubborn and liked symmetry and circles a lot
Samstag, 9. Mai 2009
dont read this.
have been too swell these days
not quite calm enough to write my favourite 'riddles'
please wait. i'll be back.
just that i want to write about myself again. (am i really too self-occupied? too egotistic?)
always, always preoccupied by distant, abstract, perhaps meaningless bewilderments.
what a fuss, what a turmoil, what a self-imposed, perhaps destructive trouble i have made to madden myself.
i have read a friend's post (yay, one of the zillion posts on facebook)
he says he's a cynical
he says he hates people who cares for only themselves.
the first respond i made was "yay! i agree."
i have always considered myself cynical
no offence but really not quite interested in brandnames, makeups, jewels, lottery. chic gadgets (hell my ipod was a gift from a bank.)
people just arent supposed to live too luxuriously. living luxurious implies that you have taken from the poor; getting a bigger slice of the pie you do not deserve.
well, i mean i can be self-contradictory. i talk about them with friends at times. that's socialising. to socialise you engage you do sth in addition to talking.
but have i actually been brainwashed while 'socializing'? am i really that steady enough, kept feet firmly tucked on my ground, being unswayed by this materialistic word? can i really claim myself to be the down to earth, the low profile, the modest? NO, hell no i can be sure.
certainly i was an arrogant youth (perhaps i still am). the braggie boastie. the proud the narrow-minded. am i still i aint sure cant tell.
not saying that fashion or whatever is all evil, but becoming too obsessed about it does shape your values erode your capability to appreciate the humblest the simplest. the simplest the best the most natural.
what is civilisation? what is progress? i feel like the backwardest.
"it's the best of times. it's the worst of times."
maybe we're helpless. born and raised in this society, city of finance and commerce, the money place. what we do is trade and buy. hardly get the chance to really make sth from scrape. cannot quite experience the joy of producing sth ourselves. i used to make cards for fds n family, now i buy one, perhaps a hallmark (that's a brandname lol). geez. it's fast and saves my labour. geez. cant even spare the time to make a card but i stalk on fb. awful n pathetic.
so i aint really...the outcast.
cynical at mouth. the hypocrite.
losing the balance, losing my ideals, losing myself getting lost.
feeling bad n want to puke at myself.
*hey mosquitoes. get out of my room. stay away from my house.
i m afraid of all insects...
kept unconcluded unresolved
life mysteries
not quite calm enough to write my favourite 'riddles'
please wait. i'll be back.
just that i want to write about myself again. (am i really too self-occupied? too egotistic?)
always, always preoccupied by distant, abstract, perhaps meaningless bewilderments.
what a fuss, what a turmoil, what a self-imposed, perhaps destructive trouble i have made to madden myself.
i have read a friend's post (yay, one of the zillion posts on facebook)
he says he's a cynical
he says he hates people who cares for only themselves.
the first respond i made was "yay! i agree."
i have always considered myself cynical
no offence but really not quite interested in brandnames, makeups, jewels, lottery. chic gadgets (hell my ipod was a gift from a bank.)
people just arent supposed to live too luxuriously. living luxurious implies that you have taken from the poor; getting a bigger slice of the pie you do not deserve.
well, i mean i can be self-contradictory. i talk about them with friends at times. that's socialising. to socialise you engage you do sth in addition to talking.
but have i actually been brainwashed while 'socializing'? am i really that steady enough, kept feet firmly tucked on my ground, being unswayed by this materialistic word? can i really claim myself to be the down to earth, the low profile, the modest? NO, hell no i can be sure.
certainly i was an arrogant youth (perhaps i still am). the braggie boastie. the proud the narrow-minded. am i still i aint sure cant tell.
not saying that fashion or whatever is all evil, but becoming too obsessed about it does shape your values erode your capability to appreciate the humblest the simplest. the simplest the best the most natural.
what is civilisation? what is progress? i feel like the backwardest.
"it's the best of times. it's the worst of times."
maybe we're helpless. born and raised in this society, city of finance and commerce, the money place. what we do is trade and buy. hardly get the chance to really make sth from scrape. cannot quite experience the joy of producing sth ourselves. i used to make cards for fds n family, now i buy one, perhaps a hallmark (that's a brandname lol). geez. it's fast and saves my labour. geez. cant even spare the time to make a card but i stalk on fb. awful n pathetic.
so i aint really...the outcast.
cynical at mouth. the hypocrite.
losing the balance, losing my ideals, losing myself getting lost.
feeling bad n want to puke at myself.
*hey mosquitoes. get out of my room. stay away from my house.
i m afraid of all insects...
kept unconcluded unresolved
life mysteries
Mittwoch, 6. Mai 2009
Prosey
is too burdened by her habits.
still the shy the timid the passive the awkward the outcast
still the outsider
still the play shy and get regret
still the pathetic arrogant
the door is not locked
neither are people inside the party room hardly pulling the door lest prosey would slip in
the jerkhead refuses to step over the threshold
all friendly signs are shown
the welcoming hand on your shoulder, heavy enough to make you believe that it's genuine
you feel the weight of the friendship
the naughty pat on your pat
the airy hug the slimy lick the glossy kiss
you hear her soft voice
i melts
you see her eyes twinkle stares sparkle
you see her signs of love
a train a wave of words hurricaning outward engulfs you
im drown
i frown
im frozen
in the goddamn boiling hot tub
i melts
flesh turning from raw pink to deadly bloody red
pinkie margaret
bloods mix and tuft, crystallize into diamonds of blossoms and flakes
that's imtimacy
perhaps i evaporates
whitie misty invicible invincibly climbs up the ladder of jests
the high pulling mast
flag floating in the wind
it gets mad
shooting bullets of tantrums into the sea
in midst of mysteries
the far song of dead birds deafens my ears
drums fluttering liquid resonantes in my inner dark caves
is that an albatross?
the jerkhead asks.
clouds over my head spread and shrink
consistently changing colour forever changing shape
white sheep grey cotton pick marshmallow orange splashes of juice
gold sand red cliff from which the killer dives and kills himself
he commits suicide (my best expression)
pheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew (descending pitch) bom! and blash!
flashes the second freezes the man
ding and beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep (ascending then an eventual sudden stop) thing comes to a perfect end.
still the shy the timid the passive the awkward the outcast
still the outsider
still the play shy and get regret
still the pathetic arrogant
the door is not locked
neither are people inside the party room hardly pulling the door lest prosey would slip in
the jerkhead refuses to step over the threshold
all friendly signs are shown
the welcoming hand on your shoulder, heavy enough to make you believe that it's genuine
you feel the weight of the friendship
the naughty pat on your pat
the airy hug the slimy lick the glossy kiss
you hear her soft voice
i melts
you see her eyes twinkle stares sparkle
you see her signs of love
a train a wave of words hurricaning outward engulfs you
im drown
i frown
im frozen
in the goddamn boiling hot tub
i melts
flesh turning from raw pink to deadly bloody red
pinkie margaret
bloods mix and tuft, crystallize into diamonds of blossoms and flakes
that's imtimacy
perhaps i evaporates
whitie misty invicible invincibly climbs up the ladder of jests
the high pulling mast
flag floating in the wind
it gets mad
shooting bullets of tantrums into the sea
in midst of mysteries
the far song of dead birds deafens my ears
drums fluttering liquid resonantes in my inner dark caves
is that an albatross?
the jerkhead asks.
clouds over my head spread and shrink
consistently changing colour forever changing shape
white sheep grey cotton pick marshmallow orange splashes of juice
gold sand red cliff from which the killer dives and kills himself
he commits suicide (my best expression)
pheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeew (descending pitch) bom! and blash!
flashes the second freezes the man
ding and beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep (ascending then an eventual sudden stop) thing comes to a perfect end.
Mittwoch, 29. April 2009
letter to dear piggies - a complaint and a confession
dear piggies,
i thought we are friends, arent we? perhaps its not me that youre targeting at, but what youve been doing is affecting me as much the 97/98 econ tsunami was affecting hk - greatly, terribly, disatrously. two days ago i was not really paying too much attention to you. you know, you are not as close as a relative to us as my beloved atypical pneumonia was, anyway, we had the isolation to-dai (somehow read like to-die) area, we had our former mrs CE in her hilarious astronaut outfit, we had the so called artists singing we shall overcome to console souls and faces behind the thin blue or M96 (was it M96?) masks, we had selfless medical crews taking care of patients who coughed and sneezed constantly. the most vivid picture of mine about the sars year, however, is rather personal: i remember well my standing on the right, dear oldie on the bed, the mask veiled all my tears and nose water. i know he heard what i meant to say.
i have never looked down upon you as many people do. i never stereotype you as being low, dumb or lazy or whatever the negative label tag. jeez! piggie, or perhaps youre just like any of us the divine superb human beings? are you a victim not a culprit of the disease? so i understand the importance of staying healthy. never catch a bug a virus and let it mutate or transform. the influenza is now like uncontrollable. people say its more destructive than sars. its a real epidemic. places im going to are exactly the places where the virus has been found: UK, SPAIN, US (and i thought its spreading southward and eastward to france and italy...). ay. still not sure if the tour will actually be cancelled. and i have already paid for the hostels and the flight. woe is me. please, piggie and virus, stay clear from these places, stay clear form planet earth. stay clear from the universe. well, please, arrogant human beings, live simple and stop overusing drugs and chemicals, our arrogant manner and our abusive behaviour have ultimately led to the rise of super bugs and virus. civilisation refers not only to an open mind, also an appropriate modest attitude to our mother nature. be respectful! human beings are no where higher than animals. we belong to the fixth not the sixth kingdom. oh - i end my confession.
humbly,
prosey
i thought we are friends, arent we? perhaps its not me that youre targeting at, but what youve been doing is affecting me as much the 97/98 econ tsunami was affecting hk - greatly, terribly, disatrously. two days ago i was not really paying too much attention to you. you know, you are not as close as a relative to us as my beloved atypical pneumonia was, anyway, we had the isolation to-dai (somehow read like to-die) area, we had our former mrs CE in her hilarious astronaut outfit, we had the so called artists singing we shall overcome to console souls and faces behind the thin blue or M96 (was it M96?) masks, we had selfless medical crews taking care of patients who coughed and sneezed constantly. the most vivid picture of mine about the sars year, however, is rather personal: i remember well my standing on the right, dear oldie on the bed, the mask veiled all my tears and nose water. i know he heard what i meant to say.
i have never looked down upon you as many people do. i never stereotype you as being low, dumb or lazy or whatever the negative label tag. jeez! piggie, or perhaps youre just like any of us the divine superb human beings? are you a victim not a culprit of the disease? so i understand the importance of staying healthy. never catch a bug a virus and let it mutate or transform. the influenza is now like uncontrollable. people say its more destructive than sars. its a real epidemic. places im going to are exactly the places where the virus has been found: UK, SPAIN, US (and i thought its spreading southward and eastward to france and italy...). ay. still not sure if the tour will actually be cancelled. and i have already paid for the hostels and the flight. woe is me. please, piggie and virus, stay clear from these places, stay clear form planet earth. stay clear from the universe. well, please, arrogant human beings, live simple and stop overusing drugs and chemicals, our arrogant manner and our abusive behaviour have ultimately led to the rise of super bugs and virus. civilisation refers not only to an open mind, also an appropriate modest attitude to our mother nature. be respectful! human beings are no where higher than animals. we belong to the fixth not the sixth kingdom. oh - i end my confession.
humbly,
prosey
Samstag, 18. April 2009
The Great Chinese Language
Have been reading "Postcolonial Affairs of Food and The Heart" written by Leung Ping-Kwan.
Well, it's a chinese book.
Well, it's a chinese book.
Great book.
so great that while reading it i feel like a Chinese illiterate.
after entering the english department i thought i had discovered the new world of english
the immensity of literature has made me wow a lot
and i thought what if i had taken english literature in high school?
and since it was not open, what if i had taken chinese literature back then?
would i have done well?
but friends havetold me that chinese lit is all about memorisation.
so, probably no?
anyway
reading this book is an even more intriguing experience
the context im more familiar with
the settings, the characters are right here in my city
cant help regarding these people as real characters
cant help regarding their experiences as real incidents
cant help fantasizing myself taking part in their fascinating life experiences
the words are difficult to understand, however
i still understand the sentence the atmosphere the mood
explication without literal understanding
and it's only possible when its chinese, not english
well. let me reproduce a section here and youll see how great this book is:
Samstag, 11. April 2009
pervert's invitation
in two consecutive days
have i been robbed
and i hated this
ay the door
my hinge painfully mourned
i have already spelt my reluctance to welcome this guest
mr. burglar
rendered his wife my loathed mrs. burglar
it's like as if it's only your house and the house of you alone
do you live alone loner?
it's like you think that we like the intruder too much that we would spill mouthful of chewed rice to welcome him
is he a porridge hater like you?
right i have the boarding school kid mindset i hate my dormmate bring in stranger
stranger to me
they make out on their bed and want my mouth shut
i am bored out i am fed up
could not raise my dumb head to salute your general the colonel
lids too heavy me too dumb
head rebellious ego too egotistic
i just wanted to shit at that splitsecond my door being broke open
my gut rumbled
my cord resonanted with you not
where was my stinky toilet bowl?
the thing i could put a head in.
dont take it personal, she says
it's not about his being a jerk a nerd a pervert
not a rapist
not a burglar
mere a broker
and you make a good couple
where is my toilet bowl
brits, roll back to your isles
brat, zip you cursed lips chop thy tongue
have i been robbed
and i hated this
ay the door
my hinge painfully mourned
i have already spelt my reluctance to welcome this guest
mr. burglar
rendered his wife my loathed mrs. burglar
it's like as if it's only your house and the house of you alone
do you live alone loner?
it's like you think that we like the intruder too much that we would spill mouthful of chewed rice to welcome him
is he a porridge hater like you?
right i have the boarding school kid mindset i hate my dormmate bring in stranger
stranger to me
they make out on their bed and want my mouth shut
i am bored out i am fed up
could not raise my dumb head to salute your general the colonel
lids too heavy me too dumb
head rebellious ego too egotistic
i just wanted to shit at that splitsecond my door being broke open
my gut rumbled
my cord resonanted with you not
where was my stinky toilet bowl?
the thing i could put a head in.
dont take it personal, she says
it's not about his being a jerk a nerd a pervert
not a rapist
not a burglar
mere a broker
and you make a good couple
where is my toilet bowl
brits, roll back to your isles
brat, zip you cursed lips chop thy tongue
Dienstag, 7. April 2009
Obsessive decoding
deity
kills
mao
from anti-
rustic
land
you say "i
am
from
uk
"
lol - what a game, what a fuss, what a siren
jeez
where is
yuan
bo-som
Tinah! im becoming obsessed
cannot read
i spoke to you today
kills
mao
from anti-
rustic
land
you say "i
am
from
uk
"
lol - what a game, what a fuss, what a siren
jeez
where is
yuan
bo-som
Tinah! im becoming obsessed
cannot read
i spoke to you today
Samstag, 4. April 2009
featherbaby
delicate and exquisite
it flows in the air
light and white
reposes and suspends in mid heaven
whereas cotton milk condenses
feathery untouchable
rather intangible
unbreakable
it mends when birds fly brutally through
not quite a tunnel
more like a bleached ocean
if not a grey see
a pool of sewage
he pukes
as time reversing
hairs antisilverise
rise
furiously
rise
weightlessly
above the steamer
rise
embedded
streamily
upwards
feather in my dream
feather is my fantasy
further beyond it gleams
glitter not
more down to earth
more readily be compre'd
April 4, 2009
i see also incense burning
rest in peace
it flows in the air
light and white
reposes and suspends in mid heaven
whereas cotton milk condenses
feathery untouchable
rather intangible
unbreakable
it mends when birds fly brutally through
not quite a tunnel
more like a bleached ocean
if not a grey see
a pool of sewage
he pukes
as time reversing
hairs antisilverise
rise
furiously
rise
weightlessly
above the steamer
rise
embedded
streamily
upwards
feather in my dream
feather is my fantasy
further beyond it gleams
glitter not
more down to earth
more readily be compre'd
April 4, 2009
i see also incense burning
rest in peace
Sonntag, 29. März 2009
silence in time
我希望
自己可以再心靜多點
思考可以再透徹點
at times i get too hysterical
i am well aware of this
but i cannot find away to be not hysterical, to be not dramatic
i do not find being quiet in front of other people an easy task
i am just still not quite used to this yet
i mean, what if the friend is the talkie type
i mean, how would the friend perceive me if i look numb
i wonder, if the friend would take me as being introvert or boring or dumb or cold and arrogant
i mean
i have not met one single person whom i can sit with comfortably without saying anything
i think you see what i mean
there's always the obscure silence suspending
the unease that reduces our thinking
distracts and diverts to the ugly worldly road
the so-called grand boulevard
the boulevard in a filthy noisy metropolitan
not intend to offence
i mean
the road certainly still has lots to offer
people, glamour, politics
but what i need most is silence and transcendence
if not transcendence, the modest connection to the inner soul
well, of course i act dramatically when i get high at times
i am ecstatic and i look insane
But i love being silent on my own
to hear tick tack of a clock
to hear people hustle
to hear cars speed
to hear wind murmur
to hear beetle sound
to hear bird sing
to hear my own heart throbbing
i look forward to listen to sounds of the world no longer alone
you my soul mate?
我希望
自己可以再心靜多點
思考可以再透徹點
i wish
you are with me in wordless silence.
自己可以再心靜多點
思考可以再透徹點
at times i get too hysterical
i am well aware of this
but i cannot find away to be not hysterical, to be not dramatic
i do not find being quiet in front of other people an easy task
i am just still not quite used to this yet
i mean, what if the friend is the talkie type
i mean, how would the friend perceive me if i look numb
i wonder, if the friend would take me as being introvert or boring or dumb or cold and arrogant
i mean
i have not met one single person whom i can sit with comfortably without saying anything
i think you see what i mean
there's always the obscure silence suspending
the unease that reduces our thinking
distracts and diverts to the ugly worldly road
the so-called grand boulevard
the boulevard in a filthy noisy metropolitan
not intend to offence
i mean
the road certainly still has lots to offer
people, glamour, politics
but what i need most is silence and transcendence
if not transcendence, the modest connection to the inner soul
well, of course i act dramatically when i get high at times
i am ecstatic and i look insane
But i love being silent on my own
to hear tick tack of a clock
to hear people hustle
to hear cars speed
to hear wind murmur
to hear beetle sound
to hear bird sing
to hear my own heart throbbing
i look forward to listen to sounds of the world no longer alone
you my soul mate?
我希望
自己可以再心靜多點
思考可以再透徹點
i wish
you are with me in wordless silence.
Freitag, 27. März 2009
Der Vorleser
Christ
the movie of all times
Hanna
the innnocent the child
her world which no one has entered or be able to understand her mindset
her stubbornness her pride her self regard
her self esteem
has she or has she not misplaced herself in the world of literacy, the world of intellect
an irony
hers being both a dumb kid a nerd
a noble a self-loved duchess
it's only that she prioritises distinctly
insistence persistence her dignity
even in jail she is to be
treasures however micro chance to acquire it
Ich liebe Hanna Schmitz!!! Hana Schmitz ist am besten!!!
Kate Winslet rocks!!!
the movie of all times
Hanna
the innnocent the child
her world which no one has entered or be able to understand her mindset
her stubbornness her pride her self regard
her self esteem
has she or has she not misplaced herself in the world of literacy, the world of intellect
an irony
hers being both a dumb kid a nerd
a noble a self-loved duchess
it's only that she prioritises distinctly
only the thinnest crack the hinge has turned
creaked, deafening, to let out the thinnest light beam of she bright shabby rich chamber
Michael is there to peep
intrigued and tempted
bemused and be puzzled
impressed
moved for a vague and crystal reason
precious
preciously loved
insistence persistence her dignity
even in jail she is to be
treasures however micro chance to acquire it
Ich liebe Hanna Schmitz!!! Hana Schmitz ist am besten!!!
Kate Winslet rocks!!!
Donnerstag, 26. März 2009
within my mental theatre
reading is marijuana
yes it is
it exhaustes you
it gives you visions, abstract or solid
you say hallucinations
thrill and excitement
my dear ecstacy
it's addictive
i thought i loved movies
the vividness and concrete
easy and ready
exploit all imaginaries
i could not read after watch
if im to really read
savour not
my tongue is lost
they are ham they are spam
processed
can never return to be pure healthy pork again
unrenewable memory
visualisation not from my nerves and blood
visualisation the wrong word i say its memorisation
overwhelmed
flooded and drowned
so i further appreciate the wideness the broadness black on white brings
its open-endedness
its spasmic potential and various possiblities
suffocate
dedicate
yes
reading is not an entertainment
it's hard work, it's labour
to make your suffer
you'll become masochistic
yes it is
it exhaustes you
it gives you visions, abstract or solid
you say hallucinations
thrill and excitement
my dear ecstacy
it's addictive
i thought i loved movies
the vividness and concrete
easy and ready
exploit all imaginaries
i could not read after watch
if im to really read
savour not
my tongue is lost
they are ham they are spam
processed
can never return to be pure healthy pork again
unrenewable memory
visualisation not from my nerves and blood
visualisation the wrong word i say its memorisation
overwhelmed
flooded and drowned
so i further appreciate the wideness the broadness black on white brings
its open-endedness
its spasmic potential and various possiblities
suffocate
dedicate
yes
reading is not an entertainment
it's hard work, it's labour
to make your suffer
you'll become masochistic
Edward Vulgar the robber
Today i've noticed my another perculiar behaviour
it's my habit of watching around. whenever and wherever
just this afternoon i entered the school library and found myself helplessly turning my head left and right
looking at almost every faces around me
i thought i was expecting to see someone important
perhaps my fairy my muse my bobo my bonbon
i could not miss a chance to meet somebody accidentally
yes, accidentally is the word i look for
could not afford to have missed you in the gai
after class we exchanged a silent goodbye
farewell my love
a spiltsecond ignition had only i
each showed implicitly and shyly a glance symbolizing the reluctance to part
painful at heart
at the verge of breaking down
cold mechanical feet
rushing out and stamping hard
fear to be discovered
be unveiled of our mutual spiritual attachment
even during class
i could not get my eyes off you black head black eye while the teacher was bubbling at the front
black pupil back i
am electrified n pretentiously read could only i
i caught your glances
i saw you stealing from me
n i robbed from you
what a robbery
i proclaimed i cried
i thought everyone noticed me the proactive the pragmatic
i could not miss a chance not seeing you
i could not miss a chance occupying one more second of your life
my busy eye
my indulgent naughty eye
ay me my mine
your face your life your speech your eyes is my fatal blackening mine
from which i gather i collect gems and crystals
whatever if glass i treasure the best bits of life
it's my habit of watching around. whenever and wherever
just this afternoon i entered the school library and found myself helplessly turning my head left and right
looking at almost every faces around me
i thought i was expecting to see someone important
perhaps my fairy my muse my bobo my bonbon
i could not miss a chance to meet somebody accidentally
yes, accidentally is the word i look for
could not afford to have missed you in the gai
after class we exchanged a silent goodbye
farewell my love
a spiltsecond ignition had only i
each showed implicitly and shyly a glance symbolizing the reluctance to part
painful at heart
at the verge of breaking down
cold mechanical feet
rushing out and stamping hard
fear to be discovered
be unveiled of our mutual spiritual attachment
even during class
i could not get my eyes off you black head black eye while the teacher was bubbling at the front
black pupil back i
am electrified n pretentiously read could only i
i caught your glances
i saw you stealing from me
n i robbed from you
what a robbery
i proclaimed i cried
i thought everyone noticed me the proactive the pragmatic
i could not miss a chance not seeing you
i could not miss a chance occupying one more second of your life
my busy eye
my indulgent naughty eye
ay me my mine
your face your life your speech your eyes is my fatal blackening mine
from which i gather i collect gems and crystals
whatever if glass i treasure the best bits of life
maybe it's right...but m not gonna be confined...do not stereotype me
| 第八型 | 領袖型、能力型、挑戰者、保護者、權威型 15% |
| 第九型 | 和平型、和平者、和諧型、維持和諧者 15% |
| 第七型 | 快樂主義型、豐富型、活躍型、創造可能者、享樂型 14% |
| 第三型 | 成就者、事業型、成就型、實踐型 13% |
| 第一型 | 完美主義者、完美型、改革者、改進型、秩序大使 11% |
| 第五型 | 智慧型、觀察者、思想型、理性分析者、思考型 10% |
| 第六型 | 忠誠型、忠誠型、尋找安全者、謹慎型 8% |
| 第四型 | 藝術型、浪漫者、自我型、憑感覺者 7% |
| 第二型 | 助人者、全愛型、助人型、成就他人者、博愛型 7% |
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